In Control??

As you've all probably noticed, I like to put quotes in my lovely little sidebar over on the right ------>
I look for quotes about dreams, leadership, nonconformity...things that inspire me, things that, I think, say a lot about who I am and what I value. So I was checking out some quotes tonight, and I was looking at a section about leadership and taking responsibility. In my reading, I came across a poem by William Ernest Henley, which ends with these lines:

I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

Now, I've read a lot of poems. But I don't think I've ever read two lines that scared me more then these did. Why? Just think about it for a minute...

First of all, I need to note here that I believe we are all sinners...but let me pause right here. A sinner is someone who commits something wrong; in other words, someone who is guilty of wrong thoughts, actions, or words. I believe that we can try as hard as we possibly can and still, we will sin. Every day. And there's no way around that -- but that's where God's grace and forgiveness comes in (but that's another topic for another post...) Now, I know some you that are reading this probably don't agree with that statement -- the we are all sinners by nature, no matter how hard we try.

Well, then I have to ask you flat out: Are you perfect? (Please be totally honest. You're not allowed to say, "Yes, except when..." or "Most of the time". It's all-or-nothing -- a yes or no question.) If you answered "yes", congratulations -- you are THE first perfect human being to EVER exist! Give yourself a pat on the back! But if you answered "no", keep reading...

The fact of the matter is, whether we care to admit it or not, we have ALL sinned (and continue to sin!)-- over and over and over again! And, whether we like it or not, there is NOTHING we can do about this. We can resolve to do better. We can try harder next time. But we will NEVER EVER EVER achieve perfection (I know. I have a really hard time accepting this too). Despite all the best efforts in the world, we will still succomb to temptation, make mistakes, and take the wrong path.

Are you start to get depressed? I am!! But I promise, there's a point...

Well, are you beginning to see why I find those two seemingly harmless lines of poetry so scary? Here, read them again:

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Now, if "I" is an imperfect, sinning human being, and "I" is also the master of his fate and the captain of his soul...well, you see the problem.

We can't possibly make the right choice all the time...or even most of the time! There's no conceiveable way that we, as humans (and therefore, sinners) can always know what is best, always choose the right path, always make the right decision, and always turn away from temptation. Therefore, if WE are controlling are fates and souls, and WE make mistakes...!

"For all have sinnned and fall short of the glory of God" -- Romans 3:23

Your soul is forever. I don't know about you, but "forever" is not something that I want to make a mistake on!

And, when you think about it...if we are mastering and captaining (I'm not sure if those are words, but go with it) our soul, our fate...that's a HUGE amount of responsibility!!! I don't know about you all, but I get nervous when I have the responsibility of, say, taking care of class pets (frogs) for a weekend or walking my neighbor's dogs... and that's only for a few hours or days, at most. This is for FOREVER...for ETERNITY...for longer then we can possibly fathom!!

So here is my point: if we as sinners (imperfect, mistake-making humans) consider ourselves to be in control of our souls, where is that going to lead us? Quite frankly, we are going to run ourselves into a wall. Do you honestly and truly trust yourself to control where you will spend eternity? That's quite a risk. Do you honestly believe that you know enough about how to live, what choices to make and what's best for you and the rest of the world to take on that ENORMOUS responsibility???

Well, I can tell you right now -- I DON'T! I know for a fact that I can't handle that. I don't want to. I don't even want to think about controlling my soul or being the master of my fate -- YIKES!!

Thank goodness for us -- there is another option!!

Put quite simply: There is God. God is omniscient. He knows EVERYTHING, and even better, He has a plan for you and me and the rest of the galaxy. He's willing to take the blame for our sins -- in fact, He already has. He's willing to take us as we are -- the sinning, whining, imperfect beings we are. He's willing to take on the entire responsibility of directing our lives, mastering our fates and yes, our souls too. He's willing to lift that heavy burden of the responsibility of eternity from our shoulders and take the entire thing -- if only we'll let Him.

Why is it that we fight God on this? I can't figure it out. This is something I've been thinking about alot lately. Why do I, when I know quite well that I DO NOT know everyhing (sometimes I wonder if I know anything, actually....) and yet from time to time, I get these rebellious flare-ups and I try to insist that I know better then God. Me...that I know better then the One who created the universe and everything in it, including me...ha! And after times like these, I can imagine God sitting up in Heaven, sighing and shaking His head and laughing at my appalling and crazy behavior...It really must be pretty funny, watching us humans try to control our lives and our destinys, but really just making a huge mess of things in the process!

I know I'm sounding redundant here, but this is an important point...I think it warrants repetition :)

In the end, is it worth it? No. Sure, it's fun for a short time; me pretending I'm in control and that I really have a clue what I'm doing...but I always end up learning my lesson and rededicating my life God. I always come to the same conclusion -- that I'm just plain incapable of handling my life. So why even try? It makes much more sense to dedicate it to the One who made me and gave me my life then for me to go about ruining it out of pride and stubbornness...!

It all boils down to this: God knows what He's doing, and we, being the sinners that we are, cannot be trusted with the control of our souls. We can try to wrench control away from God, but it will always get us in trouble. So we need to simply relinquish that control -- which can be the hardest thing in the world to do, especially if you're a control freak like me -- and accept that He is God and He knows what He's doing and where He's taking us.

And it's amazing how simple life becomes after that. It is truly amazing how relieving it is to know that you DON'T have this massive, eternal burden -- that you just have to listen and follow and trust. :)