Various and sundry thoughts

Funny how distance grants so much perspective!
I've been digging through old files on my computer lately, reorganizing them and getting rid of things I don't need in order to clear up precious memory space. I've been re-reading a lot of my writing, from the last two years or so...amazing how some time, whether it's two years or two months, can totally change my perspective on those pieces! Poems, short stories, even a very lame attempt at a novel which isn't even halfway through it's first draft...my thoughts have changed completely. Lines or words that I HATED back then don't seem so bad; things I didn't really care about seem pretty good, and things that seemed like a stroke of pure genius at the time now make me shake my head and blush at my stupidity, because it's just that awful!
Two more months from now, will my views have changed again?

Update: Amy is doing well, everyone. THANK YOU for your thoughts and prayers!!! I am firmly convinced that the HUNDREDS (perhaps more?!?) of thoughts and prayers and other types of support that have been coming our way are a HUGE part of why she's doing so well. She went back to work this past week and was at church today; she's happy and she's Amy and I'm just so thrilled that things are OK right now! Chemo's going well so far. Keep praying, though!

Thought for the day: Tetris is an awesome stress reliever. Addicting, though, so be careful! I finally broke down and spent the $$$ to buy Tetris for my DS. However, there's plenty of free online versions, too; just search "Free online tetris game".

Blinded by the light...

My brother has been walking around the house for the past two days, randomly bursting into choruses of the song, "Blinded by the Light". I'm really not sure why, quite frankly. I didn't even know he liked that song. In fact, I didn't even know he knew that song existed, let alone knew the words to it.

Actually, I don't think he does honestly know the words to it. Because he just keeps singing the same line, over and over and over and over again, getting progressively louder at each repetition. "Blinded by the light...Blinded by the light! BLINDED BY THE LIGHT!! BLIIIIINDED BY THE LIIIIIIGHT!!!!!"

(Have I mentioned that the singing gene just doesn't seem to exist in our family? Apparently it wasn't just me it skipped. My dear brother didn't have any luck in that category, either. *sigh*)

And when this chorus met my ears for about the 7,402nd time, I realized that maybe, just maybe, this was something bloggable ( < new word. How much fun is that to say? Bloggable bloggable bloggable!)...that maybe there was a way to tie it in to today's post. It's worth a try, right?

While listening to the radio the other day, I heard a story...hopefully I can remember it:

A hurricane ripped across the coastline, pouring intense amounts of rain down on the inhabitants. Cities were flooding, the water was rising and people were crying out for help. One man climbed on to his rooftop to avoid the rapidly rising water in his house. He looked up to heaven and called out, "God, save me!"

The man had loved God all his life, and truly believed that God would reach down and save him from this disasterous situation. He watched for God's hand to come down from heaven; he listened carefully so he wouldn't miss God's voice when it told him what to do.

As he was listening so intently, a rowboat floated by with a neighbor in.
"Do you need some help?" shouted the neighbor. "Climb in my boat!"
The man on the rooftop shook his head. "No, thanks!" he yelled back. "God's going to save me!"
Rowboat man shrugged and rowed away.

Well, the flood waters continued to rise and rooftop man was growing impatient. He thought maybe God hadn't heard him the first time, so he called out again, even louder, "God! Save me!!"
He stared up at the heavens, watching and waiting for the moment when God would come and save him from the floodwaters.

While he waited, another boat came by; this one even bigger then the last. Half a dozen people sat in this boat, but there was still plenty of room inside. One passenger held out a life vest.
"Hey there!" called out the passenger. "You need some help? Here! Take this!"

But rooftop man shook his head and held out his hand. "No, thanks!" he shouted back. "God's going to save me, you'll see!" The people in the boat shrugged and headed off to another rooftop.

Now, the rain had started up again and the situation wasn't exactly getting any better. Rooftop man realized that God better hurry up and do something here. He was getting pretty nervous. "God!" he called out again. "Please, God, please save me!!"

The waters had almost reached the top of his roof. The man danced around anxiously, on his tiptoes, knowing that his miraculous rescue would come any second and not wanting to miss it.
Unfortunately, he was interrupted by the sound of a helicopter.

The helicopter came closer and the man heard a voice coming through a bull horn say, "You there! Hang on! We're sending you a ladder!"
"No!" the man shouted back as loudly as he could. He shook his head again to prove his point. "No, that's OK! God's going to save me!"

Looking rather surprised, the helicopter folks nodded and shrugged and moved off to go find another person in need of rescue.
Well, a few moments later the flood waters had risen so high that they swept the man off his roof. He tried his best to swim away, but in the end, the current was too deep and he drowned.

When the man got to heaven, he said to God, "God!! I've loved you and served you all my life. I've been a faithful follower of your Word. I trusted you to save me! I cried out to you and you didn't do anything! You ignored my prayer, God! Why didn't you save me??"

God raised his eyebrows and looked at the man. "Are you kidding me?!" he said, surprised. "I tried! I sent you two boats and a helicopter! What more did you want?!"

In this story, the man was so sure that God was going to save him. He had this expectation that God would do something totally, incredibly, earth-shatteringly amazing in order to complete the rescue mission. The man was expecting a huge-scale miracle! He was waiting for the hand of God Himself to reach down and save him; he was waiting for God's voice to command the waters to recede. The man cried out, "God, save me!" and trusted God to do so. The only problem was that he was so focused on the powerfulness and miraculousness of God, that he missed the smaller miracle right in front of him.

He was blinded by the light, so to speak. This man believed so strongly that God could and would make unbelievable, inconceivable miracles happen (the "light") that he was unable to see that sometimes, God delights in using the ordinary to do extraordinary things.

The point is that sometimes, we get blinded by the light, too. We get so caught up in reading Bible stories about manna falling from heaven or angels saving people from fiery furnances or the mouths of lions being closed that we forget about the everyday miracles, too.
The thing is, God provides for our every need. If we need it, he's already got it taken care of. He hears every single one of our prayers. And he answers them -- often in ways that we wouldn't expect.

We need to make sure that our expectations don't interfere with our vision. It's great to believe that God does amazing things -- He certainly does! But don't let yourself get so caught up in the extraordinary that you miss all the incredible things he does on a smaller scale.

The most amazing thing God's done in my life? Bringing my best friend into it. There were no lions, fiery furnances, voices from Heaven or manna falling from the sky. In fact, the very first time I met my best friend, I hardly even talked to her. It wasn't an extraordinary day by any means; it was a picnic. But it was the start of the most amazing and important and incredible and yes, miraculous friendship I've ever experienced.

Is there something in your life right now that you are praying for? Are you waiting for God to answer a prayer? Be careful that your expectations of HOW he is going to answer don't interfere with your realization that he HAS answered it.

Don't be so busy waiting to hear God's voice that you miss the rowboat and the helicopter right in front of you. Sometimes God might give you an incredibly obvious answer to an incredibly complicated situation. It's easy to overlook the everyday answers to prayers -- the best friend who called to say Hi when you were feeling low, the brother who started singing obnoxiously when all you wanted to do was focus on writing a blog post, the dog who barked continously for you to take him for a walk so you could enjoy a gorgeous day...

Be ready and waiting for the ordinary AND the extraordinary. If you EXPECT God to do great things, He will. But beyond that, you've also got to be looking for these BIG things -- sometimes in the smallest of places. Don't be blinded by the light of God's greatness -- let his light illuminate things you might have otherwise missed.

When Silence Becomes Singing

Today at preschool I was reading a picture book called Musical Max by Robert Kraus (a fantastic children's book author!). It's about Max, a hippo, who loves to play music all day long. He practices every instrument known to man (or, well, hippo), including the trombone, bass, trumpet, drums, piano, cymbals, and synthesizer. His mother thinks it's wonderful, but she is in the minority, because his father and all of his neighbors are NOT HAPPY with Max's continuous "music".
"This noise is driving me crazy!" says his father, who begins to wear earmuffs.
"This noise is driving us CRAZY!" say his neighbors, who give him Evil Glares and tell him to stop and spent most of the book lamenting over how they long for peace and silence.
So one day, Max announces that he no longer feels like practicing. He's not in the mood, he informs everyone, so he takes up baseball instead. And for days, there's no music. Max's father removes his earmuffs.
For weeks, theres's no music. The neighbors breathe a sigh of relief.
For months, there's no music.
"This silence is driving me crazy!" says Max's dad.
Still no music.
"This silence is driving us CRAZY!" say the neighbors.
Seasons change.
Still no music. "I'm not in the mood," says Max.......


In e e cummings' poem, "i am a little church (no great cathedral)" there is a line that caught my attention:

"i am not sorry when silence becomes singing"

I really liked this line, because it really describes my outlook on life...or at least, what I'd like my outlook on life to be.

Now, at some point, everyone likes silence. Everyone LOVES silence, in fact, and I will wholeheartedly agree that there are times when silence is the at the top of my wishlist. Like today, for instance, when both dogs were barking at the cat who was hiding in my brother's room who was gleefully clapping at the excitement which was causing my mother to yell, "QUIIIIIIET!" which caused my father to come stomping up the stairs from the basement to find out what all the racket was about and I just really wanted to write my silly essays and be done with it. Silence would have been blissful right about then.

"i am not sorry when silence becomes singing".

Look at this tiny line for all that it is. Think about what else e e cummings might be trying to convey there. I'm not sorry when silence becomes singing. I'm not sorry when nothing becomes something. I'm not sorry when uncertain hesitation becomes confident proclamation. I'm not sorry when boredom becomes joy. I'm not sorry when fear becomes relief. I'm not sorry when someone finds the strength to express themselves. I'm not sorry when seriousness is shattered by praise....

It's so easy to get so caught up in our want of silence that we are frustrated, irritated or annoyed at singing. My brother has a rather annoying habit of walking around the house "singing opera" (it's really neither singing nor opera, but he thinks it is) at the top of his lungs at any given hour. And yes, believe it or not, most of the time, if I was given the option I'd choose silence over that "singing".

But that's because I'm more focused on my own selfish needs or desires instead of someone else's. I'm thinking about what I need -- time to concentrate on schoolwork; time to think; 10 whole minutes without a headache...and I miss the point. That singing signifies joy. Happiness. Singing is a form of praise, and who am I to try and squash that praise with my own dull, callous, selfish silence??

I think we'd all do well to encourage a little more singing and a little less silence.

Remember our hippo friend Max?

He eventually decides that he's in the mood to play music again. He goes back and picks up his music and from the looks on the neighbor's faces, he's still just as noisy as he was before.
But his father and neighbors have made a great discovery -- that silence that they thought they longed for? It turned out to be dreadfully uncomfortable. It turned out to be horribly cold and dark and it wasn't what they wanted at all. They actually longed for the comforting sounds of Max's practicing.

So when Max started to practice again, not only did they encourage him and jump for joy...
They all joined in. Yup. All the neighborhood animals and Max's father, too, all joined in. They formed a great big band and made great music together.
They turned that awful silence into singing.
With Max as the conductor.

Here's to a little more singing and a little less silence.
Maybe we can all join in.

Safe or Stuck?

First of all, I invite you all to check out a brand new fantastic blog, Somnium of Sarcalogos. (The Latin student in me is just loooooooving that name!!)

Yes, I've been rather lax this month with posts. I'm sorry...there's just been too much going on!! Hopefully things will settle down (at least a little!) now and I can post more in February. We shall see :)

Now....

For the past two weeks in Sunday School, we've been discussing fences. We began by discussing the many purposes and functions of fences. Because really, fences are pretty extraordinary things, when you think about it!

At the preschool I work at, we have a fence around the playground -- to keep the kids in and away from the parking lot and busy road.

My friend has a fence to keep her dogs in their yard.

Fences can be used to create boundaries -- they say, "This is MINE. That is YOURS." Fences can be used as an unquestionable, visual reminder of property. Our neighbors have a fence between their yard and ours. There's never a question of who needs to mow what grass -- we know exactly where our boundaries end and theirs begin.

My youth leader then went on to state, "God's laws are like fences -- do you agree?"

Well, that was an intresting question. God's laws are like fences??

Maybe they are. God certainly lays out boundaries for us. He makes it quite clear in the Bible what He expects of us and what He expects us to stay away from. There's no question about that.

And just like that fence that keeps preschoolers safe...God's laws keep us safe too.

Do we like it? Not usually. It's easy to get so focused on the fence or the blockade in front of you that you miss what's beyond it. You might be so busy lamenting your lack of freedom that you don't see the danger beyond.
Fences do more then keep us IN. They keep danger OUT.

Take my preschoolers -- there are many days when they complain, "There's not enough room! I want to go run out there!" Every single day kids try to climb over the fence, under the fence, or run out past the gate. There is one child who seems to think that running into the fence at top speed will eventually cause it to break and let him out!

The kids don't realize that there are cars in the parking lot and a busy, dangerous road out there -- they are too focused on getting their freedom. They don't know any better -- they need that fence to keep them safe, because they don't understand that danger lurks beyond the fence. Left to their own devices, they would make dangerous choices.

We're an awful lot like those preschoolers, aren't we? God puts up fences in our lives and we spend a good amount of energy trying to climb over them, crawl under them or even run right through them. We don't pause to think about WHY the fences are there -- we're too busy complaining about them.

The fact is, God gives us laws to live by, because without them, we'd just make a big mess of things. We'd make the same dangerous choice as a preschooler running out on a busy road. Quite plainly, we just don't know enough about what's out there, beyond our fences and boundaries.

But God does. God sees everything we will ever encounter, and He builds up fences in the exact places we need them most. Not to trap us. Not to hold us hostage or make our lives miserable or deny us our freedom or be a big old meanie. It's exactly the opposite -- God gives us laws and rules to live by because He loves us, and He knows what's best for us, and He wants to prevent us from blindly running out in the middle of a road.

Often, we teachers find that when we ask the kids why they want to get out of the fence, they can't really come up with answer. They seem to want it simply because it's something new and interesting -- they just want to do something different. Maybe they're just bored. It usually just takes a few suggestions about new things they can do INSIDE the fences, new ideas and new ways to play, and suddenly they lose interest in climbing fences and running away.

Is that how it is with us? Do we just want to break God's laws to test our boundaries, to see what will happen, to try something new and intresting? Is there any good reason for our disobedience beyond boredom?

Next time you find yourself attempting to climb over a fence, pause and think for a minute. What might be beyond this fence that God's trying to protect me from? Is it really that important for me to be out there, instead of in here? Am I just testing my boundaries with God?

Make it a habit to look at your fences as God's wall of protection rather then a big cruel cage. Maybe you'll even find you like the view better from inside the fence.

Those Frustrating Folks...

There are some people in life who drive me crazy.

Sometimes, it's over little, stupid, pointless things...Take, for example, that person driving towards you who never bothers to turn off their headlights. Or, the inconsiderate person who drops a container of butter in the grocery store and then just walks away and leaves the mess there for someone ELSE to deal with.

Now, admittedly, there are bigger issues in life. There are people who more then just annoy me -- they infuriate me! There are people who support causes I don't agree with and criticize me for my beliefs. There are people who seem to be determined to inform me of every single one of my flaws. There are "friends" who have turned on me. There are those who are prideful and self-centered and can't stop bragging; those who are mean and cold-hearted...I could go on and on.

Everyone has people in their life that make life harder, sadder, angrier, scarier, or more unbearable. And we often wonder -- why can't it be easier?
Why do I have to deal with people who hurt my feelings, break promises, cause fights, get me in trouble, etc, etc, etc?
What could we possibly gain from all these negative interactions that ruin our day?

Look at what Walt Whitman has to say in answer to this question:

Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you? -- Walt Whitman

Think about these words for a moment.

Whitman implies that we can learn something from those that drive us insane; those that anger us and cause us pain or struggling.

He's right. Just as we can learn things from positive intereactions with people, we can learn just as much -- if not more -- from negative intereactions. We learn how to deal with opposition, stubborness, and anger. We can learn a great deal about patience, humility, kindness and most of all, forgiveness.

God gives us the opportunities to interact with people who will ruin our day, make our lives miserable and bring us to tears -- what matters is what you learn from it. You learn a lesson from every situation, no matter how bleak it is. You just have to open your eyes and see the opportunity!! Maybe God's giving you a chance to practice being thankful. Maybe He's letting you learn how to stand up for yourself. Maybe He wants you to try listening to someone else's opinions...but you've got to be looking for the opportunity to learn, and to love.