Please pray for Jim, my Pastor's father. He's been in the hospital since Sunday because of "severe pain due to gall stones and pancreatitis. There are various complications; he is supposed to have surgery but that's been postponed because he's too weak. I know this is really tough on Pastor B and her family as well, because they are all close; please remember ALL of them in your prayers.
I hate situations like this. I mean, obviously, no one likes them...but the hardest thing for me is the waiting. I positively cannot STAND to be idle; I constantly need to be thinking or working or doing or keeping busy with something. I need to be productive; I'm happiest when I'm busy accomplishing things. Most of the time, that's a great thing; it is a rather productive lifestyle, after all....
But then I get hit with things like this. Tough stuff in life happesn to those I care about: illnesses, death, friends moving away, divorces, etc, etc...and my instictive reaction is always, "What can I do? How can I help? How can I make this better?"
The hard part comes with the realization that sometimes, there's only one thing to do -- pray. Pray and trust God and let Him have control of the situation. And THAT's where my problem lies. It's really hard for me to just let go and sit back and wait for God to reveal His plan; my innate impatience probably has a lot to do with that. But it drives me crazy when there is nothing concrete I can do to help a situation.
Like with Pastor's Dad. I so desperately want to do something to help, here!! I want to make it better, easier, something; but he's hours and hours away from me. What could I possibly do to help?
"Pray" is the only answer I can come up with. And I am. A lot. But it just doesn't feel like ENOUGH.
I was thinking about all this around 3am this morning. I was thinking about how praying always seems to lead to waiting and wishing that God could have designed the system a little differently; namely, with less waiting. Instant gratification would be nice....like, "Hey, God! Ok, I've got this problem...and I think it would be great if you could _____. Got it? Alright then, thanks! Talk to you tomorrow!"
Sadly, though, God doesn't seem to be a big fan of instant gratification. So I figured that this whole "waiting" thing must have a purpose. I'm beginning to think that God uses this waiting thing for a reason. The whole reason prayer works is because you are trusting God with the situation and allowing Him to take care of it. In whatever way He sees fit, not in whatever way you think is best....and therefore, in His time, not in yours.
I wonder if the waiting part of praying...waiting to see how God will answer the prayer; waiting to see how His plan will unfold...is a lesson in itself, a lesson about trusting God. It's an interesting thought, isn't it? Especially for me....Maybe we can grow and learn by doing, well, nothing. (Whoa. Scary concept, I know.)...by praying and waiting and trusting.
