Savior, please

So, as you may have gathered from the last post, it's been an incredibly overwhelming weekend. Wonderful, certainly; there's been some amazing moments. But overwhelming for sure. Today I had a chance to spend some time with Very Best Friend in the Whole Entire Galaxy, and oh, how I needed that! Without fail, every moment I spend with her, whether it's curled up on the sofa watching a movie or in the middle of a noisy, smelly gym, she just refreshes my soul.

It's funny. All weekend as I was doing everything for everyone I kept telling myself, "You're fine! You're going to love this! It'll be great!". And I thought I was doing a pretty good job keeping up the act, you know? The I'm-not-tired, I-really-do-want-to-be-here, life-is-good act. I'm sure you're all familiar with it.

And this is why she is my Very Best Friend in the Whole Entire Galaxy. Because my "act" didn't fool her for a nanosecond. She knew something was wrong and she even guessed most of the stuff that was upsetting me before I even said one word. So after somewhat of a meltdown, I was feeling marginally better about life, but she helped me realize that a big part of my problem is a lack of faith. I'm in a scary transitional time of my life right now, and faith is more vital than ever before if I have any hope of navigating this. And yet, why is it that in the moments when you most need your faith, it's easiest to forget about the concept of "trust"? Why is it so easy to lose sight of God in the moments when you should be most focused on him?

As I drove home, I was praying that God would take my angry, scared, doubtful heart and replace with the peace and faith and trust I was so desperately in need of. And this song came on the radio, and I know it was the answer to my prayer:

Savior, Please by Josh Wilson


Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

And though it might sound completely corny, these words just spoke to my heart, echoing all the words Very Best Friend had said earlier, and it was an amazing experience.
Oh, the goosebumps and the tears!

Anyway, I just pray that if you're in this place right now -- this overwhelming, trying so hard to measure up and be all things to all people and prove things to the world, that this song will encourage you and bring peace to you.

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...

I've really been meaning to post for ages. And somehow there's never time, bah. And I was doing so well, there, at the beginning of the month!!
I haven't posted anything "serious" in a while now. Hmmm. Should probably get on that......

Wow, life has been busy lately!!

Last weekend I had the incredible pleasure of meeting Somnite and Anilee -- it was WOOO HOOO exciting -- for the very first time!!! I have to say, guys, you both are EXACTLY what I pictured. Which is a good thing :)

A crazed week of still trying to finish up intense amounts of schoolwork among other pressing matters (application deadlines.... other commitments...plentiful meetings...lots of cleaning....) filled my last few days and as of right now, I am at an annual church assembly, which is pretty exciting -- I was elected the female delegate for my congregation. Today starts Day 2 (and it started bright and early, UGH!) and I have to say, I am positively fascinated by everything that's going on. We are voting and discussing some really major issues here, and I'm finding that I -- even as a youth -- actually have a voice. I'm being treated as an adult instead of like a silly little teenager and I have to say, it's an incredibly exciting and positively terrifying feeling all at once. I've been feeling very naive compared to most of these people and very unqualified to be voting and making these sorts of decisions. And yet, others are trusting me to do so and that responsibility is a little overwhelming!
Kind of funny, isn't it: I've begged and pleaded for eons to be treated like an adult and now that people are finally doing so and taking me seriously, it scares me out of my wits.

Life is confusing. Sheesh.

Well, we are off ISO Wawa....mmmm, cappucino!!!!!

This Generation

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young,
but set an example for the believers
in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
--1 Timothy 4:12

This is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE Bible verses EVER!!

This world is, whether we like to admit it or not, fond of the saying, "Children should be seen and not heard". (We're not allowed to vote, for one thing....) And, there are so many people out there who have told me that "someday" I'll make a difference. That I'll be someone extraordinary...when I grow up. That I have "bright future ahead" of me.

Well, I'm an incredibly impatient person. I don't want to wait until "someday" or "when I grow up" or "the future" to make a difference -- I want to do so NOW!! And that's where this Bible verse comes in. Paul isn't echoing the age old seen-at-not-heard attitude towards kids and teens. He's challenging it. He's saying, "Don't wait! You can live for God NOW!" Paul is, in affect, saying that we as teens are an important part of society; capable of great things, and that we shouldn't have to wait until we get older!

And Paul is absolutely right. We don't have to wait until we're 21 or 35 or 47 or however old we think we have to be to truly make a difference. We can start making a difference RIGHT NOW! We can write letters to congresspeople, make speeches, protest what we don't believe in, raise funds, go on mission trips; the possibilities are endless!

So...why wait??? We are capable of changing this world right now, just as we are. We can show the world that we as teens know what we're doing. We can live for God, spread His Word, and be living proof of what we believe in. "Set an example for the believers..."...That is Paul calling us to lead by example. We can set an example for everyone of every age by heeding His call and following His direction in our lives. God will use you; have no doubt about that -- He just needs to know You're ready and willing.

I was recently talking to an older woman at our church. She was telling me that "my generation is just messing everything up. It's going to be YOUR generation that comes in and saves this world from all the evil." Well, sure...that would be nice. But if we stand up and start being leaders RIGHT NOW, maybe by the time we inherit the earth, there won't be any evil left to save the world from. It's worth a try.

In our Sunday School class last week, my amazing youth leader posed the question: "Does your church treat the youth as though they are the leaders of tomorrow...or the leaders of today?" It was a great question, and it applies to all areas of life. Do you see yourself as a "leader of tomorrow" or a "leader of today"?

Are you ready to change the world? God's ready for you -- just tell Him, and listen to where He leads you!

Becoming

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."
-- e. e. cummings

I just recently stumbled upon this quote by e. e. cummings, one of my all time favorite poets. Think about it for a moment...

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."

Courage. It takes courage to grow up...I never thought about it that way before. "Growing up" has always been something inevitable; something that has to happen, something that I have no control over. But think of it this way -- "It takes courage to grow up..."... e. e. is acknowledging that, yes, growing up is a scary thing! It's uncertain and challenging and confusing and crazy and scary and wonderful and exciting all at once -- and it sure does take a good dose of courage to manage it!

Look at the second part of this quote: "...and become who you REALLY ARE." Well. How many of us teens are still trying to figure out who we "really are"? *raises hand* That's the scariest part of growing up, if you ask me: being thrown into a world of adulthood, and expected to navigate your way around all by yourself. To know what you believe, why you believe it, how to act and how you feel about any given thing. To realize what you want, what you need, what you like and what you don't. To find a purpose for your life, a goal for the future and a way to realize those dreams...sheesh. And in the world we live in today, we are expected to grow up, and to grow up quickly! Anyone else getting exhausted just thinking about it?!? I guess that's where the "courage" part comes in. "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."... Not who you are now, or who you were in the past, but "who you really are."

Well. I don't know about the rest of you, but do you ever feel like that courage is failing you sometimes? Or that you don't have any courage to begin with? *raises hand again*

Check out Deuteronomy 31:6 :
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Wow...how's that for reassurance?? As we all go through this scary time of our lives, when we are faced with all kinds of decisions and choices, and as we begin to learn and grow and become "who we really are", isn't it comforting to know that God is always with us? He will grant us the courage we need in those moments of uncertainty and doubt, because He will "never leave nor forsake" us!!