Despicableness

Ok!!
Let's say I asked all of you if you would eat something without knowing what it was. Would you?Let's say I described this mysterious substance as, "thick yellowish-brown paste with a sharp taste". Would you eat it?

Be honest: How appetizing does that sound???



Want to know what it is?
Mustard.
I kid you not. That's how wikipedia describes mustard.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW.


I hate mustard. Hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it.

I've been on this rant for three whole days, now. I really, really, really hate mustard.

I have ALWAYS hated mustard, mind you; this is no new fad or random passing phase. However, as of late I've simply become much more passionate in my intense hatred of mustard and also much more educated in how utterly revolting the substance is.


This latest jump in dedicated rage directed at a condiment began on Wednesday, when I was having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day. I was seriously contemplating moving to Australia, in fact; it was that bad. I was obviously in a rather cranky mood and was thrown completely over the edge when I opened the fridge (admittedly rather harder then necessary) and a bottle of mustard jumped out of the shelf on the fridge door (cackling evilly, of course, because everyone knows that mustard is pure evil) and lept on to me, covering me from head to toe (practically) with oozing, yellow nast.

As you can imagine, this didn't exactly improve my mood any.

Adding to my discomfort was the fact that the smell of mustard has ALWAYS made me extremely nauseous, and of course, I smelled like mustard all day. Even the next day, EVEN after taking a SHOWER, I was still convinced that I smelled like mustard....ugh ugh ugh.

But since then, I have been in sort of a feverish crazed anti-mustard mood. I sort of took all the mustard in the house and hid it in the garage so I wouldn't have to look at it.

I cannot for the life of me figure out what about this awful stuff appeals to people. Sheesh. Why would you intentionally consume something so digusting, which makes your eyes water and your nose itch and your tongue scream, "NO! NOT THIS AGAIN! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE SUCH AWFUL TREATMENT?!?!"

Mustard's been around for an awfully long time, you know. The first mustard recipe dates back to 42 A.D. It didn't exactly catch on as a condiment back then, though (gee, I wonder why...it's only the most horrifyingly nasty taste on the planet....) and it wasn't until the 9th century, when French monks began making mustard and selling it as a way to bring in income (I am totally serious, here. I did my research!). Ick. For awhile, though, mustard-making flourished, however due to intense issues with contamination and "adulteration of the substance", in the 16th century the French government passed laws with strict cleanliness requirements for mustard making utensils and also laws stating that only certified mustard-makers could produce the condiment.

You know what even further blows my mind? Found on Wiki:
"The Mount Horeb Mustard Museum is a museum in Mount Horeb, Wisconsin, featuring the world's largest display of prepared mustards. It is often featured in lists of unusual museums in the United States...The initial dozen jars have grown to a collection of more than 4,800 different mustards from 60 different countries, along with items of mustard memorabilia and exhibits depicting the use of mustard through history."
THERE'S A WHOLE MUSEUM DEDICATED TO THIS GROSSNESS? WHAT?!?!

AND! Apparently there is also a NATIONAL MUSTARD DAY!
Now THAT is just taking things altogether too far, if you ask me.


Some of you are probably wondering, "OK...well...let's get to the point now, shall we?"
There is no point. This is an utterly pointless, useless, random post with no relevance to anything. I simply wanted to express my intense dislike of a positively revolting substance.

*takes bow*