No one ever tells me ANYTHING!

Alright, seriously.

It took me nearly 45 minutes to get to class today. It SHOULD only take me 25 minutes to drive from my house to the college where I have my blasted 7:30am class. 30 minutes if it’s a red light day. So then, one has to wonder, why so much longer today?
Did I take the scenic route? Nope.
Car trouble? Nope.
Get lost? Valid concern, but also no.

Apparently, no one bothered to inform me that today is National Garbage Truck Drivers Gone Wild Day. I mean, c’mon, people. It would have been nice if I had had at least a little bit of warning, don’t you think? Because seriously, EVERYONE seemed to be in on this little ruse -- everyone except me and the little old lady in the car behind me. *fumes*

FIVE BLASTED GARBAGE TRUCKS. FIVE. Not one. One would be normal. If I ended up behind a slow garbage truck, I’d think nothing of it. Daily occurrence. No big deal. How about two? Still not so strange. I would have figured it’s garbage collection day in this town today and shrugged it off. The third garbage truck was a little strange. I began to wonder if I was hallucinating. The fourth garbage truck was enough to generate the wild conspiracy theories about garbage trucks taking over the world. But it was the FIFTH one on my way to school this morning that really clued me in to what must be going on. National Garbage Truck Drivers Gone Wild Day. It’s so obvious, now that I think about it. The Head Garbage Truck Driver Boss must have sent out a memo to the secret Garbage Truck Drivers Society and let them know that even if they don’t have a route today, they should just commandeer any garbage truck they could get their hands on and drive it around the city, at no more then 20 mph, max. And, just for fun, Head Garbage Truck Driver Boss must have told all the little minions that they can stop at random places in the middle of the road even if there is no trash to collect. Because really. Why else would they ALL be stopping for NO reason??

And it wasn’t just on the way TO school, either! My 10 minute drive AFTER class from college to preschool turned into a 21minutes because I encountered -- you guessed it -- FOUR MORE GARBAGE TRUCKS. FOUR!!!!!

Now, I have been driving this exact same route at this exact same time every Monday and Wednesday morning for the last 7.5 weeks. Never before have I had any sort of altercation with garbage trucks, until today. In fact, I don't know that I've ever even ENCOUNTERED another garbage truck before today!!! Which is what led to my conclusion that today must be something special. Like, say, National Garbage Truck Drivers Gone Wild Day.

See?!? See?!? Now do you see what I mean??!?! Nine SEPARATE garbage trucks??! In ONE MORNING?! That’s just not normal, people!And I’m sure you’re all thinking, “Yeah? So? What’s so bad about garbage trucks?” Typically, nothing. In fact, I’m a HUGE advocate for garbage collector appreciation. I’ve made cookies for my garbage people already, OK? They’re great people. They do a great service to the world. No question there.

But would it really be so hard to just drive well??! C’mon, people!! It’s not that tough of a concept. Just because you’re in a big smelly tank-like vehicle with monstrous dumpster-picker-upper-claw-like things on the front does NOT give you the right to drive however you want. You are NOT allowed to accelarate hard, whip out in front of me from a side street, and then slow down to 15 mph on a 40 mph road. You’re just not. I don’t care how big and intimidating you think you are!

THIS was where the problem was -- every single one of these garbage truckers was driving erratically or terribly. Thus the “Gone Mad” portion of my rant.

SO! To all the garbage truck drivers out there, I only have two things to say:
1. Get over your "I-have-a-big-powerful-smelly-truck-so-don't-mess-with-me" attitudes and drive nicely. Please. I'll make you more cookies if you do...!!!
2. DO NOT make me late for class again or you will FEEL MY WRATH. Just wait. IPCA will get you. I have connections.

*trademarked menacing glare*