When Silence Becomes Singing

Today at preschool I was reading a picture book called Musical Max by Robert Kraus (a fantastic children's book author!). It's about Max, a hippo, who loves to play music all day long. He practices every instrument known to man (or, well, hippo), including the trombone, bass, trumpet, drums, piano, cymbals, and synthesizer. His mother thinks it's wonderful, but she is in the minority, because his father and all of his neighbors are NOT HAPPY with Max's continuous "music".
"This noise is driving me crazy!" says his father, who begins to wear earmuffs.
"This noise is driving us CRAZY!" say his neighbors, who give him Evil Glares and tell him to stop and spent most of the book lamenting over how they long for peace and silence.
So one day, Max announces that he no longer feels like practicing. He's not in the mood, he informs everyone, so he takes up baseball instead. And for days, there's no music. Max's father removes his earmuffs.
For weeks, theres's no music. The neighbors breathe a sigh of relief.
For months, there's no music.
"This silence is driving me crazy!" says Max's dad.
Still no music.
"This silence is driving us CRAZY!" say the neighbors.
Seasons change.
Still no music. "I'm not in the mood," says Max.......


In e e cummings' poem, "i am a little church (no great cathedral)" there is a line that caught my attention:

"i am not sorry when silence becomes singing"

I really liked this line, because it really describes my outlook on life...or at least, what I'd like my outlook on life to be.

Now, at some point, everyone likes silence. Everyone LOVES silence, in fact, and I will wholeheartedly agree that there are times when silence is the at the top of my wishlist. Like today, for instance, when both dogs were barking at the cat who was hiding in my brother's room who was gleefully clapping at the excitement which was causing my mother to yell, "QUIIIIIIET!" which caused my father to come stomping up the stairs from the basement to find out what all the racket was about and I just really wanted to write my silly essays and be done with it. Silence would have been blissful right about then.

"i am not sorry when silence becomes singing".

Look at this tiny line for all that it is. Think about what else e e cummings might be trying to convey there. I'm not sorry when silence becomes singing. I'm not sorry when nothing becomes something. I'm not sorry when uncertain hesitation becomes confident proclamation. I'm not sorry when boredom becomes joy. I'm not sorry when fear becomes relief. I'm not sorry when someone finds the strength to express themselves. I'm not sorry when seriousness is shattered by praise....

It's so easy to get so caught up in our want of silence that we are frustrated, irritated or annoyed at singing. My brother has a rather annoying habit of walking around the house "singing opera" (it's really neither singing nor opera, but he thinks it is) at the top of his lungs at any given hour. And yes, believe it or not, most of the time, if I was given the option I'd choose silence over that "singing".

But that's because I'm more focused on my own selfish needs or desires instead of someone else's. I'm thinking about what I need -- time to concentrate on schoolwork; time to think; 10 whole minutes without a headache...and I miss the point. That singing signifies joy. Happiness. Singing is a form of praise, and who am I to try and squash that praise with my own dull, callous, selfish silence??

I think we'd all do well to encourage a little more singing and a little less silence.

Remember our hippo friend Max?

He eventually decides that he's in the mood to play music again. He goes back and picks up his music and from the looks on the neighbor's faces, he's still just as noisy as he was before.
But his father and neighbors have made a great discovery -- that silence that they thought they longed for? It turned out to be dreadfully uncomfortable. It turned out to be horribly cold and dark and it wasn't what they wanted at all. They actually longed for the comforting sounds of Max's practicing.

So when Max started to practice again, not only did they encourage him and jump for joy...
They all joined in. Yup. All the neighborhood animals and Max's father, too, all joined in. They formed a great big band and made great music together.
They turned that awful silence into singing.
With Max as the conductor.

Here's to a little more singing and a little less silence.
Maybe we can all join in.

Safe or Stuck?

First of all, I invite you all to check out a brand new fantastic blog, Somnium of Sarcalogos. (The Latin student in me is just loooooooving that name!!)

Yes, I've been rather lax this month with posts. I'm sorry...there's just been too much going on!! Hopefully things will settle down (at least a little!) now and I can post more in February. We shall see :)

Now....

For the past two weeks in Sunday School, we've been discussing fences. We began by discussing the many purposes and functions of fences. Because really, fences are pretty extraordinary things, when you think about it!

At the preschool I work at, we have a fence around the playground -- to keep the kids in and away from the parking lot and busy road.

My friend has a fence to keep her dogs in their yard.

Fences can be used to create boundaries -- they say, "This is MINE. That is YOURS." Fences can be used as an unquestionable, visual reminder of property. Our neighbors have a fence between their yard and ours. There's never a question of who needs to mow what grass -- we know exactly where our boundaries end and theirs begin.

My youth leader then went on to state, "God's laws are like fences -- do you agree?"

Well, that was an intresting question. God's laws are like fences??

Maybe they are. God certainly lays out boundaries for us. He makes it quite clear in the Bible what He expects of us and what He expects us to stay away from. There's no question about that.

And just like that fence that keeps preschoolers safe...God's laws keep us safe too.

Do we like it? Not usually. It's easy to get so focused on the fence or the blockade in front of you that you miss what's beyond it. You might be so busy lamenting your lack of freedom that you don't see the danger beyond.
Fences do more then keep us IN. They keep danger OUT.

Take my preschoolers -- there are many days when they complain, "There's not enough room! I want to go run out there!" Every single day kids try to climb over the fence, under the fence, or run out past the gate. There is one child who seems to think that running into the fence at top speed will eventually cause it to break and let him out!

The kids don't realize that there are cars in the parking lot and a busy, dangerous road out there -- they are too focused on getting their freedom. They don't know any better -- they need that fence to keep them safe, because they don't understand that danger lurks beyond the fence. Left to their own devices, they would make dangerous choices.

We're an awful lot like those preschoolers, aren't we? God puts up fences in our lives and we spend a good amount of energy trying to climb over them, crawl under them or even run right through them. We don't pause to think about WHY the fences are there -- we're too busy complaining about them.

The fact is, God gives us laws to live by, because without them, we'd just make a big mess of things. We'd make the same dangerous choice as a preschooler running out on a busy road. Quite plainly, we just don't know enough about what's out there, beyond our fences and boundaries.

But God does. God sees everything we will ever encounter, and He builds up fences in the exact places we need them most. Not to trap us. Not to hold us hostage or make our lives miserable or deny us our freedom or be a big old meanie. It's exactly the opposite -- God gives us laws and rules to live by because He loves us, and He knows what's best for us, and He wants to prevent us from blindly running out in the middle of a road.

Often, we teachers find that when we ask the kids why they want to get out of the fence, they can't really come up with answer. They seem to want it simply because it's something new and interesting -- they just want to do something different. Maybe they're just bored. It usually just takes a few suggestions about new things they can do INSIDE the fences, new ideas and new ways to play, and suddenly they lose interest in climbing fences and running away.

Is that how it is with us? Do we just want to break God's laws to test our boundaries, to see what will happen, to try something new and intresting? Is there any good reason for our disobedience beyond boredom?

Next time you find yourself attempting to climb over a fence, pause and think for a minute. What might be beyond this fence that God's trying to protect me from? Is it really that important for me to be out there, instead of in here? Am I just testing my boundaries with God?

Make it a habit to look at your fences as God's wall of protection rather then a big cruel cage. Maybe you'll even find you like the view better from inside the fence.

Failings of the Future

God sees the worst of you and loves you still. Your sins of tomorrow and failings of the future will not surprise Him -- He sees them now.
And He loves you still.

I was reading Max Lucado's "Hope: Pure and Simple" (I HIGHLY recommend this book!!! All of his books, really..!) and I stumbled across this tiny passage. The magnitude of the message and the incredible-ness of the implications made me stop and think. And re-read it. Here, read it again:

God sees the worst of you and loves you still.
Your sins of tomorrow and failings of the future will not surprise Him -- He sees them N O W.
And He loves you still.

Take a deep breath and just think about this passage for a moment or two.

Being in high school, I'm having a lot of experience right now with interviews and applications. Think about an interview you had or an application you filled out: Was it about your successes or your failures? Your achievements or your mistakes?
We live in a society obsessed with pride. Listing our successes and hiding our failures. Lifting up people for their accomplishments and laughing at those who make mistakes. We are obsessed with constantly trying to justify ourselves, our lives, our deeds and live up to -- or exceed -- the expectations of others to succeed. We have this bizarre need to tell the world of our accomplishments and hide our failures.

I mean, just look at it -- your education, your acceptance in to colleges relies on all the good things you've done.
From every angle, this world is telling us, "You must be successful!! You are a worthy person when you succeed!"

Look at sports "heroes". Are people thrilled with them when they lose a game? Do fans look up to and admire an athlete who has failed over and over again?
Usually not.
In a sad way, people's love of sports heroes depends on their success.

Colleges only want you if you are successful; if you have achievements to list and reasons to be considered worthy.

Who would want a failure? Who could love a failure?

The One who sees the worst of you and loves you still.

You see, God's message is so very different then the world's. God says, "I know you are going to fail. I love you anyway. Just come to me and I will welcome you back with loving arms."

You can run as far as you possibly can from God, and He will still be right there waiting for you, with open arms and a hopeful heart, waiting for you to turn around and accept His love. There is nothing you can possibly do that will end God's love for you.
You don't need an application or an interview in order to be God's child. God already knows every solitary thing about you -- every achievement...and every single failure too.

And He still loves you. He still wants you.
And that is the most amazing and confusing and comforting concept, all at once.

Can you believe that there is Someone out there who already knows every single thing about you? Who knows every single mistake you will ever make? Every cruel word you'll utter, every angry argument you'll have, every attempt at revenge, every sinful thought and deed, every possible failure...
and that, despite all this, He loves you still?

In a world where it sometimes feels like you're not good enough for anything, there is a God who says you are good enough for Him.

Ever heard the story of the Prodigal Son? It's found in Luke 15:11-32.(Or, you can watch the VeggieTales version, The Wizard of Ha's)

It's about a guy who thinks he knows better then his father. He gets fed up with the hardworking life of his family on the farm, has a bitter argument with his father, takes his inheiratance money, leaves the family farm and runs off to have the time of his life.
And for awhile, he does -- everything he could ever want or need is his. Gambling, reading magazines of questionable content, X-rated movies, smoking who knows what, buying expensive jewelry and clothes and for him, life is going well. He is living his dream -- freedom, luxury, and all the wine he can drink.
He thinks he's happy, even. Until he runs out of money.
He is suddenly left with no friends, no money, no house, no job, absolutely nothing.
His new "friends" disappeared along with his last penny.
He's afraid to go back to his father because he thinks that his failures will cost him his father's love.
He has failed too many times, you see. He messed up. He sinned. Over and over and over. And now he's feeling unlovable, unworthy.
Eventually, the son realizes that there is no where else to turn. He decides to go back "home" and beg his father to take him on as a farm hand. He feels that his father could never forgive him for all his mistakes and accept him as a son -- but maybe he can get hired, and at least begin a life; something better then wandering the streets stealing food from pig's troughs.
So he begins the long journey home -- hungry, weary, dirty. Feeling more like a failure with every step. His thoughts are consumed with all of his failures and all his stupidity -- why? What ever made me think that was the right thing to do? And did I get so far away? Why didn't I realize how bad it was? And how could I have failed so much?
Hopelessness abounds.
Days later, he rounds the final bend, and can see his father's farm in the distance. Standing in the road is one lone figure. As he gets closer, he realizes it is his father. He stops for a moment, paralyzed by fear and shame. Any courage he had for facing up to his mistakes is rapidly diminishing.
But his stomach is growling, he hasn't eaten for days and he is exhausted from his journey. He forces himself to take one step closer. And then another. And then another.
He sees his father's eyes grow wide in shock.
What will he do to me? He must hate me. He has every right. I turned against him, wasted so much of his money and now, have the audacity to return?
Unable to look at his father, he looks down at the dirt road instead. Then, he hears his fathers voice, but he is unable to make out the words. He hears approaching footsteps; they start out hesitantly at first, and then grow faster and more impatient.
What will he do? What will he do?
He looks up, and sees his father sprinting toward him with the most unbelievable expression on his face.
Not hate. Not disappointment. Not anger. Not even annoyance.
It's joy.
Utterly baffled, he freezes in his tracks, but his father finally gets to him and throws his arms around him and says,
"My son."
"I'm sorry..." He begins, but the speech he'd been rehearsing flies out of his head, and instead he is left stuttering, "But...but...Dad...I...I...messed up! You should hate me!"
"Oh, no, my son, I don't hate you. You were dead to me, but now you are alive! You were lost, but now you've been found! You have been returned to me. I love you."
And they embraced.

Pretty unbelievable, huh?
Now what if I told you that THAT father is Our Father?

We fail. We repent. He forgives. He hugs.

He knows our every failure -- past, present and future -- and he will love us still.
No applications. No interviews. No list of achievements.
We don't have to win the game or be the best to be God's -- we just have to accept Him.



(For some contemporary thoughts and examples of the Prodigal Son story, see the lyrics to Casting Crown's "Prodigal" and BarlowGirl's "She Walked Away" -- two incredible songs!)

Guidance

I received this email from a good friend of mine, and I absolutely love the whole concept...

Enjoy. It's short and sweet :)

.................................................................


"Dancing With God"

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing 'dance' at the end of the word and I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other. My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw 'G': I thought of God,followed by 'u' and 'i'. 'God, 'u' and 'i' dance.' God, you, and I dance. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life and once again, I became willing to let God lead. My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday. May you abide in God, as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of yourlife. This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.

So I Hope You Dance!

Staples: A Microcosm of Divine Intention

(Many thanks to James and Marcus for their cunning and brilliance in thinking up the title of this post)

(Click here to learn the definition of "microcosm"!)

So, last night I got to go to one of my favorite stores in the entire UNIVERSE...Staples. The world's greatest and most awesomely named office supply store. Unlike most of my peers, who would rather shop for clothes or shoes or purses or silly, trivial things like that :), I am much more at home among the aisles of pens and papers and boxes and post-its and of course, Sharpies.

I love the smell of Staples...it's like the lovely old-bookish smell of a library mixed in with the smell of ink and new sneakers and... potential. The place is full of potential, I tell you!

It's a writer's dream come true.

Rows and rows of blank tablets and notebooks just waiting to be filled words and thoughts and stories... a million pens and pencils and markers and highlighters practically wiggling with anticipation...comfy dest chairs and fun-shaped post-it notes and sparkly stickers and and and...*sighs dreamily* oh, I absolutely adore it!!

I could spend hours just wandering through the aisles..in fact, that's what I did last night...just thinking and planning. I really love the whole feeling of Staples -- like I said, potential. Imagination. Creativity. Newness. Readiness.

All those little writing utensils and rolls of tape and boxes of staples and computers are all there, just ready and waiting..anticipating the moment when they will be lifted off the shelf and taken home to their new family and....!!! (Ok...this is starting to sound an awful lot like the Corduroy books I was reading at preschool today....!!)...anyway, the point is, they are ready and waiting to be used; to serve, if you will.

But they're not doing anyone much good by just sitting on that shelf, looking pretty and clean and new, are they? In fact, they can't live out their true purpose...to write, to type, to tape, to draw, to staple, to stick, etc -- if they just sit on the shelf and wait. By themselves, they are nothing...I mean, yeah. They look fun and nice. And everyone can imagine their potential. But to really do anything worthwhile....

They need a Creator - someone who knows their purpose and how to best use them all together produce the most desirable result; who will use them to make something amazing.

See where I'm going with this? Imagine yourself as something in the Staples store. I myself would probably be a lime green mini Sharpie, simply because I'm bold and obnoxious and hard to get rid off once I make my mark :)....but the point is, whether you're a stapler or a roll of duct tape or a desk chair or a bulletin board or some bubble wrap -- you can't do anything by yourself. You need to submit to a Creator -- One who knows all about you; how you work, where your skills are and how to help you do what you do best. You need to allow the Creator to use you in His plan -- and by doing so, you will contribute to the beauty of the whole project; to CREATE with you.

Aren't we blessed to have the most Amazing Creator? He knows exactly what our individual gifts and talents are. He knows how to "use" us so that we can all do something different -- stapling, gluing, stickering, etc -- to achieve one grand, incredible result.

We just have to let Him use us -- and the results will be magnificent.

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. --Isaiah 40:28

..And we know that all things work together for good; for those who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. --Romans 8:28

Yeah, so, this was kind of a corny post...
Maybe life isn't really like a pencil...But do you get the point? (hee hee)
Even if you're not like a roll of duct tape, maybe this idea will still stick (haha)...

Those Frustrating Folks...

There are some people in life who drive me crazy.

Sometimes, it's over little, stupid, pointless things...Take, for example, that person driving towards you who never bothers to turn off their headlights. Or, the inconsiderate person who drops a container of butter in the grocery store and then just walks away and leaves the mess there for someone ELSE to deal with.

Now, admittedly, there are bigger issues in life. There are people who more then just annoy me -- they infuriate me! There are people who support causes I don't agree with and criticize me for my beliefs. There are people who seem to be determined to inform me of every single one of my flaws. There are "friends" who have turned on me. There are those who are prideful and self-centered and can't stop bragging; those who are mean and cold-hearted...I could go on and on.

Everyone has people in their life that make life harder, sadder, angrier, scarier, or more unbearable. And we often wonder -- why can't it be easier?
Why do I have to deal with people who hurt my feelings, break promises, cause fights, get me in trouble, etc, etc, etc?
What could we possibly gain from all these negative interactions that ruin our day?

Look at what Walt Whitman has to say in answer to this question:

Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you? -- Walt Whitman

Think about these words for a moment.

Whitman implies that we can learn something from those that drive us insane; those that anger us and cause us pain or struggling.

He's right. Just as we can learn things from positive intereactions with people, we can learn just as much -- if not more -- from negative intereactions. We learn how to deal with opposition, stubborness, and anger. We can learn a great deal about patience, humility, kindness and most of all, forgiveness.

God gives us the opportunities to interact with people who will ruin our day, make our lives miserable and bring us to tears -- what matters is what you learn from it. You learn a lesson from every situation, no matter how bleak it is. You just have to open your eyes and see the opportunity!! Maybe God's giving you a chance to practice being thankful. Maybe He's letting you learn how to stand up for yourself. Maybe He wants you to try listening to someone else's opinions...but you've got to be looking for the opportunity to learn, and to love.