Help Help Help!

Yikes. I know, it's been weeks. My apologies.

Life has been pretty topsy-turvy lately.

First and foremost, I'm begging for your prayers and good thoughts for my dear friend and youth leader, Amy. Amy's been having some pretty serious medical issues lately and has spent the last two weeks getting a plethora of tests done. Some of the results have been really scary, and we're in desperate need of prayers for her and her family. Amy's one of my favorite people and this has been really hard on me. Amazingly, though, she has somehow managed to remain unbelievably positive throughout all this; even in the midst of insane situations she's still teaching me life lessons! The longer it stretches on, though, the more things there are too worry about.... She is scheduled to have surgery (a biopsy) sometime this week, and hopefully that will finally give her some definite answers...so please pray for her and her family and the doctors and everyone involved in the situation. Thanks.

That situation has pretty much been consuming my thoughts lately, so I haven't had much time for any deep soul-searching ponderings or amusing anecdotes. I've been squeezing in schoolwork and doing homework at the last minute and just barely surviving my many college classes and averaging about 4 hours of sleep each night, so, well, I'm managing :)

For Speech Communication class I'll be giving an informative speech about the effects of sleep deprivation on young adults/college students in a week or two. If anybody's got any great examples or anecdotes, I'd be thrilled if you shared them with me! email: mismatchedsockgirl@gmail.com Muchas gracias!

I'm also looking for interesting news articles that I can **briefly** analyze for my Intro to Ethics class. Post links if you stumble across anything!

Because I've been in such a somber mood lately, this is my current playlist:

Whatever You're Doing -- Sanctus Real
Empty Garden -- Elton John
Even Angels Cry -- Jars of Clay
Mighty to Save -- Laura Story
Amy's Song -- Switchfoot [ironic, eh?]
Unchanging One -- Todd Agnew
Hallelujah -- Krystal Meyers
In Better Hands -- Natalie Grant
The Economy of Mercy -- Switchfoot
Daisy -- Switchfoot
Oh My God -- Jars of Clay
I Still Believe -- Jeremy Camp
Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) -- Chris Tomlin

Why wait?!

Please pray for Jim, my Pastor's father. He's been in the hospital since Sunday because of "severe pain due to gall stones and pancreatitis. There are various complications; he is supposed to have surgery but that's been postponed because he's too weak. I know this is really tough on Pastor B and her family as well, because they are all close; please remember ALL of them in your prayers.


I hate situations like this. I mean, obviously, no one likes them...but the hardest thing for me is the waiting. I positively cannot STAND to be idle; I constantly need to be thinking or working or doing or keeping busy with something. I need to be productive; I'm happiest when I'm busy accomplishing things. Most of the time, that's a great thing; it is a rather productive lifestyle, after all....


But then I get hit with things like this. Tough stuff in life happesn to those I care about: illnesses, death, friends moving away, divorces, etc, etc...and my instictive reaction is always, "What can I do? How can I help? How can I make this better?"


The hard part comes with the realization that sometimes, there's only one thing to do -- pray. Pray and trust God and let Him have control of the situation. And THAT's where my problem lies. It's really hard for me to just let go and sit back and wait for God to reveal His plan; my innate impatience probably has a lot to do with that. But it drives me crazy when there is nothing concrete I can do to help a situation.


Like with Pastor's Dad. I so desperately want to do something to help, here!! I want to make it better, easier, something; but he's hours and hours away from me. What could I possibly do to help?


"Pray" is the only answer I can come up with. And I am. A lot. But it just doesn't feel like ENOUGH.


I was thinking about all this around 3am this morning. I was thinking about how praying always seems to lead to waiting and wishing that God could have designed the system a little differently; namely, with less waiting. Instant gratification would be nice....like, "Hey, God! Ok, I've got this problem...and I think it would be great if you could _____. Got it? Alright then, thanks! Talk to you tomorrow!"


Sadly, though, God doesn't seem to be a big fan of instant gratification. So I figured that this whole "waiting" thing must have a purpose. I'm beginning to think that God uses this waiting thing for a reason. The whole reason prayer works is because you are trusting God with the situation and allowing Him to take care of it. In whatever way He sees fit, not in whatever way you think is best....and therefore, in His time, not in yours.

I wonder if the waiting part of praying...waiting to see how God will answer the prayer; waiting to see how His plan will unfold...is a lesson in itself, a lesson about trusting God. It's an interesting thought, isn't it? Especially for me....Maybe we can grow and learn by doing, well, nothing. (Whoa. Scary concept, I know.)...by praying and waiting and trusting.