Bad Moods and Why I’m No Longer In One

I’ve been rather grumpy lately, for a variety of reasons. Yesterday I was freakishly crabby for a good portion of the day. Now, sometimes I can get myself out of those funks just by refusing to succomb to them -- “I am NOT going to be in a bad mood today!!!”. But usually I can’t. Yesterday I couldn’t. I spent the majority of the day denying the fact that I was in a bad mood but snapping at everyone who came near me and glaring at everyone who didn’t.
Finally, I admitted to myself that I was in a bad mood and needed to do something about it. So I did one of the two things that nearly always makes me happy.

Running. Yes, I know there are plenty of biological reasons that this works -- endorphins are lovely things, after all, and it’s a great stress-reliever and all that. But I also love running because it gets me out of the house; lets me be alone to mutter and grumble and glare all I want and gives me an opportunity to push myself hard -- and be proud of the results. And it’s hard to be in a bad mood when you’re proud of yourself!
As I result, I was back to my insanely perky and happy self last night.

Today, for a bunch of similar reasons, I was back in a bad mood (it’s rather exhausting being a teenager, isn’t it?!) Because I don’t have the time or energy to run again today, much as I’d like to, I turned to the second thing that nearly always makes me happy.

Music.
What’s on my playlist, you ask?

MMSG’s Top Five Songs to Listen To When You’re In A Bad Mood:

1. It’s the End of the World as We Know It -- R.E.M. I was introduced to this song while babysitting one night, actually. I very dramatically announced for some reason, “it’s the end of the world as we know it!!” and all three kids burst into the refrain of this song. By the end of that night, I knew it quite well. It’s one of those wonderfully cynical and pessimistic songs that is great to listen to when you’re mad at the world.

2. Falling Inside the Black -- Skillet. You’ve got to love the loudness, intensity and overly-dramatic ness of this song. Ooh, it’s positively chilling. While we’re on the subject, many of Skillet’s songs fit this description; other favorites include Whispers in the Dark and Rebirthing.

3. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) -- Green Day. I’m not a huge Green Day fan at all, but for some totally inexplicable reason this song appeals to me. I have no idea why, because it’s so monotonous and depressing, and yet, sometimes that’s exactly what I listen to when in the midst of whatever drama I’m going through, and it cheers me up. Don’t know why. But it does. I’m teaching myself to play it on the guitar.

4. Me Against the World -- Superchic[k]. Ok, so this song might not exactly have the same appeal if you’re a guy, but still. How can you argue with the line, “They said don’t try to change the world, you’re just a girl; so it’s me against the world today….”. I love the feeling of determination in this song!

5. Life is Good -- Stellar Kart. As hard as I try, I absolutely cannot be in a bad mood if I hear this song. It’s much too happy and exciting and wonderful; but not in an overly-optimistic gaggy way; more like just in a, “Ok, maybe-the-world’s-really-not-coming-to-an-end-today” kind of way.

(And! Since I’m now in such a good mood and feeling so incredibly generous, a bonus song!)
6. Bethlehemian Rhapsody -- Apologetix. I LOVE Apologetix’s parodies; they absolutely crack me up!! While all of their songs are ingenious and hysterical, this one happens to be my favorite. I think there are two versions of it out there, though, for some reason. I like the David and Goliath version best, if that makes any sense. And again, it's hard to be crabby when you're laughing hysterically.

Shades of Gray

When I was younger, I had this idea that there were three kinds of adults in the world: good adults, okay/average adults, and bad adults. The characteristics of each group were quite cut-and-dry:

--Good adults were people I looked up to. People who went to church, said please and thank you, had good values, smiled a lot, knew how to laugh, and didn't treat me like a baby.
--Okay/average adults were either adults that didn't strike me as obviously good or overtly bad, or adults I hadn't really been exposed to. I considered the majority of the world to be made up of "okay/average adults".
--Bad adults were, quite simply, crime committers. Thieves, abusers, murderers; the list went on...but Bad Adults, in my mind, made bad choices and that was that. I didn't want anything to do with Bad Adults.

My worldview also included the idea that all good adults -- all the people I looked up to, respected and admired -- liked each other. Since they were, after all, all "good", they would (for the most part) always agree with each other and feel the same way about most issues. I wasn't blind to the fact that there would be occasional disagreements, but always assumed that these people I admired so much would handle it in a civilized way and always reach a mutually pleasing compromise. Life was simple.

Looking back at my apparent naiveté makes a lot of people (including myself) laugh now. But it's true -- things were so simple back then. To me, the good people were all very good. I more or less believed that in every situation there was a good and a bad choice; the good people always made the good choice, the bad people made the bad ones.

These shades-of-gray opinions never existed when I was younger. My world was very clearly black and white; the shades of gray didn't start to develop until later. (And now, sometimes I feel like my world is entirely gray!)

And here's one thing that really stinks about growing up -- you find that black and white are totally gone, and in their place a million shades of gray. You find that people aren't who you expected them to be. They're not at all what you thought. You find that the people you most looked up to aren't the greatest role models after all. You find that nobody's perfect, superheroes don't exist, and your best friend is capable of breaking your heart.

And these are all hard things to deal with. Think about the time when you first came to a realization like this. The first time you were truly let down by someone you thought was perfect....it's hard to accept. It ruins your trust in that person and the whole world, even, because if you can't trust them...you really can't trust anyone.

Good people can make bad choices. Bad people can make good choices. So what are we left with? Well, there's really only one explanation for it all -- we're all sinners.

It's tempting to convince ourselves that "good" people and "bad" people exist, and that some people are "worse" then others, while some are just plain "better". We all do it -- we hear about murderers and decide, whether consciously or not, that our measly little sins -- say, spreading some rumors or going over the speed limit -- aren't nearly as bad.

In fact, in our minds, sin itself almost begins to take on various shades of gray -- we categorize our sins according to our own personal motives, values, and justifications. The darkest shades of gray are reserved for the worst crimes -- terrorists and child molesters and so forth. Then there's the lightest hues, like "white lies" or purposefully ignoring responsibilities, that don't seem nearly as bad.

But the fact is, while shades of gray might exist in our own minds, they don't exist with God. His views, unlike ours, are quite black-and-white. He can easily distinguish between right and wrong, and there is no middle ground.
With God, there is either sin (black) or there isn't (white). With God, you are either a sinner (us) or you're not (Jesus).

"For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all." -- James 2:10

This means that all sins are bad -- equally bad. Every sin out there, no matter how harmless it seems to us, is still a sin; and that sin still seperates us from our Holy, perfect God. That means that every sinner out there (every single person!) is equally bad, and equally seperated from God.

This becomes a scary thought for us, though! Suddenly our pride takes a hit....

What?? We're now in the same group as all those bad guys? All the terrible, guilty parties? We are like them??

Yes.

And God loves us?!?!

Yes.

And so...by the transitive property of God's love....well, just look: We know that the terrible people in the world are sinners. We know taht WE are sinners, just like them. We know that God loves us. So the only logical conclusion is that God loves the terrible people in the world, just like He loves us.

That's not to say that He approves of or is proud of bad choices, not at all! But He loves people who make bad choices regardless. There is not one person on earth who is "too far gone" for God. No matter what evil or heinous act you have committed, He still loves you and wants you to be His child. He is ready with grace and forgiveness; ready to welcome you back...but you've got to admit your sin and let God take control.

We are not perfect. We will ALL mess up!! We will make bad choices -- and God will love us anyway. He'll forgive us -- again -- and let us start over. He doesn't love us because we are "good" people -- He loves us because we are His people.

There's one fact of life I CAN accept -- no shades of gray involved :)