If only I could write like this...

*happy sigh*
I really, really, really like this poem. Really.



Grace
Ralph Waldo Emerson

How much, preventing God! how much I owe
To the defenses thou hast round me set:
Example, custom, fear, occasional slow,
These scorned bondmen were my parapet.
I dare not peep over this parapet
To gauge with glance the roaring gulf beelow,
The depths of sin to which I had descended,
Had not these me against myself defended.

Failings of the Future

God sees the worst of you and loves you still. Your sins of tomorrow and failings of the future will not surprise Him -- He sees them now.
And He loves you still.

I was reading Max Lucado's "Hope: Pure and Simple" (I HIGHLY recommend this book!!! All of his books, really..!) and I stumbled across this tiny passage. The magnitude of the message and the incredible-ness of the implications made me stop and think. And re-read it. Here, read it again:

God sees the worst of you and loves you still.
Your sins of tomorrow and failings of the future will not surprise Him -- He sees them N O W.
And He loves you still.

Take a deep breath and just think about this passage for a moment or two.

Being in high school, I'm having a lot of experience right now with interviews and applications. Think about an interview you had or an application you filled out: Was it about your successes or your failures? Your achievements or your mistakes?
We live in a society obsessed with pride. Listing our successes and hiding our failures. Lifting up people for their accomplishments and laughing at those who make mistakes. We are obsessed with constantly trying to justify ourselves, our lives, our deeds and live up to -- or exceed -- the expectations of others to succeed. We have this bizarre need to tell the world of our accomplishments and hide our failures.

I mean, just look at it -- your education, your acceptance in to colleges relies on all the good things you've done.
From every angle, this world is telling us, "You must be successful!! You are a worthy person when you succeed!"

Look at sports "heroes". Are people thrilled with them when they lose a game? Do fans look up to and admire an athlete who has failed over and over again?
Usually not.
In a sad way, people's love of sports heroes depends on their success.

Colleges only want you if you are successful; if you have achievements to list and reasons to be considered worthy.

Who would want a failure? Who could love a failure?

The One who sees the worst of you and loves you still.

You see, God's message is so very different then the world's. God says, "I know you are going to fail. I love you anyway. Just come to me and I will welcome you back with loving arms."

You can run as far as you possibly can from God, and He will still be right there waiting for you, with open arms and a hopeful heart, waiting for you to turn around and accept His love. There is nothing you can possibly do that will end God's love for you.
You don't need an application or an interview in order to be God's child. God already knows every solitary thing about you -- every achievement...and every single failure too.

And He still loves you. He still wants you.
And that is the most amazing and confusing and comforting concept, all at once.

Can you believe that there is Someone out there who already knows every single thing about you? Who knows every single mistake you will ever make? Every cruel word you'll utter, every angry argument you'll have, every attempt at revenge, every sinful thought and deed, every possible failure...
and that, despite all this, He loves you still?

In a world where it sometimes feels like you're not good enough for anything, there is a God who says you are good enough for Him.

Ever heard the story of the Prodigal Son? It's found in Luke 15:11-32.(Or, you can watch the VeggieTales version, The Wizard of Ha's)

It's about a guy who thinks he knows better then his father. He gets fed up with the hardworking life of his family on the farm, has a bitter argument with his father, takes his inheiratance money, leaves the family farm and runs off to have the time of his life.
And for awhile, he does -- everything he could ever want or need is his. Gambling, reading magazines of questionable content, X-rated movies, smoking who knows what, buying expensive jewelry and clothes and for him, life is going well. He is living his dream -- freedom, luxury, and all the wine he can drink.
He thinks he's happy, even. Until he runs out of money.
He is suddenly left with no friends, no money, no house, no job, absolutely nothing.
His new "friends" disappeared along with his last penny.
He's afraid to go back to his father because he thinks that his failures will cost him his father's love.
He has failed too many times, you see. He messed up. He sinned. Over and over and over. And now he's feeling unlovable, unworthy.
Eventually, the son realizes that there is no where else to turn. He decides to go back "home" and beg his father to take him on as a farm hand. He feels that his father could never forgive him for all his mistakes and accept him as a son -- but maybe he can get hired, and at least begin a life; something better then wandering the streets stealing food from pig's troughs.
So he begins the long journey home -- hungry, weary, dirty. Feeling more like a failure with every step. His thoughts are consumed with all of his failures and all his stupidity -- why? What ever made me think that was the right thing to do? And did I get so far away? Why didn't I realize how bad it was? And how could I have failed so much?
Hopelessness abounds.
Days later, he rounds the final bend, and can see his father's farm in the distance. Standing in the road is one lone figure. As he gets closer, he realizes it is his father. He stops for a moment, paralyzed by fear and shame. Any courage he had for facing up to his mistakes is rapidly diminishing.
But his stomach is growling, he hasn't eaten for days and he is exhausted from his journey. He forces himself to take one step closer. And then another. And then another.
He sees his father's eyes grow wide in shock.
What will he do to me? He must hate me. He has every right. I turned against him, wasted so much of his money and now, have the audacity to return?
Unable to look at his father, he looks down at the dirt road instead. Then, he hears his fathers voice, but he is unable to make out the words. He hears approaching footsteps; they start out hesitantly at first, and then grow faster and more impatient.
What will he do? What will he do?
He looks up, and sees his father sprinting toward him with the most unbelievable expression on his face.
Not hate. Not disappointment. Not anger. Not even annoyance.
It's joy.
Utterly baffled, he freezes in his tracks, but his father finally gets to him and throws his arms around him and says,
"My son."
"I'm sorry..." He begins, but the speech he'd been rehearsing flies out of his head, and instead he is left stuttering, "But...but...Dad...I...I...messed up! You should hate me!"
"Oh, no, my son, I don't hate you. You were dead to me, but now you are alive! You were lost, but now you've been found! You have been returned to me. I love you."
And they embraced.

Pretty unbelievable, huh?
Now what if I told you that THAT father is Our Father?

We fail. We repent. He forgives. He hugs.

He knows our every failure -- past, present and future -- and he will love us still.
No applications. No interviews. No list of achievements.
We don't have to win the game or be the best to be God's -- we just have to accept Him.



(For some contemporary thoughts and examples of the Prodigal Son story, see the lyrics to Casting Crown's "Prodigal" and BarlowGirl's "She Walked Away" -- two incredible songs!)

Those Frustrating Folks...

There are some people in life who drive me crazy.

Sometimes, it's over little, stupid, pointless things...Take, for example, that person driving towards you who never bothers to turn off their headlights. Or, the inconsiderate person who drops a container of butter in the grocery store and then just walks away and leaves the mess there for someone ELSE to deal with.

Now, admittedly, there are bigger issues in life. There are people who more then just annoy me -- they infuriate me! There are people who support causes I don't agree with and criticize me for my beliefs. There are people who seem to be determined to inform me of every single one of my flaws. There are "friends" who have turned on me. There are those who are prideful and self-centered and can't stop bragging; those who are mean and cold-hearted...I could go on and on.

Everyone has people in their life that make life harder, sadder, angrier, scarier, or more unbearable. And we often wonder -- why can't it be easier?
Why do I have to deal with people who hurt my feelings, break promises, cause fights, get me in trouble, etc, etc, etc?
What could we possibly gain from all these negative interactions that ruin our day?

Look at what Walt Whitman has to say in answer to this question:

Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you? -- Walt Whitman

Think about these words for a moment.

Whitman implies that we can learn something from those that drive us insane; those that anger us and cause us pain or struggling.

He's right. Just as we can learn things from positive intereactions with people, we can learn just as much -- if not more -- from negative intereactions. We learn how to deal with opposition, stubborness, and anger. We can learn a great deal about patience, humility, kindness and most of all, forgiveness.

God gives us the opportunities to interact with people who will ruin our day, make our lives miserable and bring us to tears -- what matters is what you learn from it. You learn a lesson from every situation, no matter how bleak it is. You just have to open your eyes and see the opportunity!! Maybe God's giving you a chance to practice being thankful. Maybe He's letting you learn how to stand up for yourself. Maybe He wants you to try listening to someone else's opinions...but you've got to be looking for the opportunity to learn, and to love.

Step Out in Faith

I was reading an old issue of DevoZine magazine today, and it was talking about faith. Doing the unthinkable. And trusting God will be with you. In order to get the point across, it had a big picture of a shoe, and it said,

"Write the following on your shoe:

MAKE YOUR MARK ON THE WORLD -- STEP OUT IN FAITH

and whenever you are feeling unsure or inconsequential, look at your shoes!"


I really liked the thought of this. You can bet that as soon as I find my sneakers (they're currently MIA. Again) that I will be writing it!

But more importantly, it got me thinking. I've been struggling lately with a fear of doing something new for God. In a few weeks, I will be going on a mission trip. I was excited about it for a loooong time, but now the day is fast approaching -- and I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't know what to do, that I'll mess up, etc, etc.

And it's times like these when I need to be reminded that I'm doing this for GOD -- not for me, or my friends, but for GOD. God is commissioning me -- and if my heart is really in this, if I'm really doing this for His Glory -- He won't let me fail! God is calling me to go out there and do something I've never done before. To make my mark on the world.

And in order to do that, I've got to step out in faith.

It's a scary thing. I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know how it's going to turn out. I don't know if I'll end up changing the world or just doing some minute tasks that don't seem very important at all. I really don't know ANYTHING, except this -- I will step out in faith. I'll trust that God is in this.

Ever heard the story of Gideon? (I highly recommend the Veggietales version, "Gideon: Tuba Warrior". [Thank you Sancho] It's seriously one of my all-time favorite movies).

His story can be found in Judges 6-7. Here's a brief synopsis:

First, a little background info: The Israelites, after they'd (finally) made it to the Promised Land, were beginning to forget about all the wonderful things God had done and reverting back to their old, evil ways. They were giving in to temptations left and right, and God decided to teach them a lesson. He let the Midianites come in and take over the city for quite a few years. Seven, to be exact. And the Midianites made life miserable for the Israelites -- chasing them out of their homes and into caves, trampling and stealing their crops, taking their livestock, etc, etc. You get the idea. So after a while, the Israelites started crying out to God for help. God reminded them why they were being punished, but because He is God, He forgave them. God delievered the Israelites, and He did so through one little guy named Gideon...

One day, Gideon was doing his thing...cutting down wheat in his father's field, maybe whistling a song or two as he worked. Life was pretty good for Gideon, and he was pretty happy. Then, all fo the sudden, an angel appears. Gideon is, as you can probably imagine, pretty surprised by this! But get this -- he believes in the angel. Wow. I know I'd be just a little skeptical, but not Gideon! So anyway, he and the angel are talking and the angel starts telling Gideon that God is proud of him, and that he's found favor in God's eyes (WHOA!! THIS IS PRETTY AMAZING STUFF!). Well, here's where Gideon does get a little skeptical.

"What? That can't be. If God really did "favor" me and my people, then why is he letting these Midianites bully us? We're starting to feel a little abandoned down here...after all. He IS the God who led our ancestors out of Egypt. So why doesn't He do any marvelous works now and save us?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you!" the angel replies. "God is sending you to drive away the Midianites."

Well, let me just tell you -- if I was Gideon, I would have burst into hysterical laugher right here. As it was, Gideon was a little...uh...flabbergasted.

"ME?!?! You must be NUTS! We're the weakest clan around!! I can't POSSIBLY drive out a huge, bullying army like THAT! All I do is cut wheat!!"

"God will be with you," the angel reminds him. "He will deliver you; He will guide you and be your strength."

Well, our friend Gideon is still (understandably), a little skeptical at this point. He decides that he needs a sign, so that he knows that God is really in this. And God gives it to him. So then Gideon decides he needs ANOTHER sign, and God, in His incredible patience, sends that sign to Gideon, too.

Finally, Gideon realizes that God is serious. Gideon praises God and sets about gathering and army. It's a small but might crew; not nearly compareable to the vast Midianite Army, but a decent size. And besides, Gideon reasons, I've got God on my side!!

Well, God says to Gideon, "You've got too many men! I want everyone to know that this is truly and Act of God; let there be no doubt, no chance that the world will think the power is in the army. Weed out your army."

Gideon's a little surprised, but he's learned by now to listen to God, so he cuts his army in half and continues training them. And then God says AGAIN, "You've still got too many people, Gideon!!" Well, Gideon's draw drops ...was God SERIOUS? I mean, really....he hardly had any folks as it was! So Gideon sent some more soldiers home, until he and a few friends (300, to be exact...more or less) were all that was left.

The hour of attack is finally drawing near, and Gideon was getting a little...giddy :) He was nervous, but God was still with him! God encouraged him, and Gideon found the strenght to carry out God's plan.

Even when every single odd was against him, Gideon believed that God would pull him through. He trusted that God would be with him, and that God would use him in His grand plan. Gideon stepped out in faith.

So did David, so did Jonah (after a little coaxing), so did Moses and a million other great Bible heroes...most noteably, so did Jesus... they all trusted that God would use them in His plan, that He would give them the strength and courage and whatever skills they needed to make their mark on the world.

Shades of Gray

When I was younger, I had this idea that there were three kinds of adults in the world: good adults, okay/average adults, and bad adults. The characteristics of each group were quite cut-and-dry:

--Good adults were people I looked up to. People who went to church, said please and thank you, had good values, smiled a lot, knew how to laugh, and didn't treat me like a baby.
--Okay/average adults were either adults that didn't strike me as obviously good or overtly bad, or adults I hadn't really been exposed to. I considered the majority of the world to be made up of "okay/average adults".
--Bad adults were, quite simply, crime committers. Thieves, abusers, murderers; the list went on...but Bad Adults, in my mind, made bad choices and that was that. I didn't want anything to do with Bad Adults.

My worldview also included the idea that all good adults -- all the people I looked up to, respected and admired -- liked each other. Since they were, after all, all "good", they would (for the most part) always agree with each other and feel the same way about most issues. I wasn't blind to the fact that there would be occasional disagreements, but always assumed that these people I admired so much would handle it in a civilized way and always reach a mutually pleasing compromise. Life was simple.

Looking back at my apparent naiveté makes a lot of people (including myself) laugh now. But it's true -- things were so simple back then. To me, the good people were all very good. I more or less believed that in every situation there was a good and a bad choice; the good people always made the good choice, the bad people made the bad ones.

These shades-of-gray opinions never existed when I was younger. My world was very clearly black and white; the shades of gray didn't start to develop until later. (And now, sometimes I feel like my world is entirely gray!)

And here's one thing that really stinks about growing up -- you find that black and white are totally gone, and in their place a million shades of gray. You find that people aren't who you expected them to be. They're not at all what you thought. You find that the people you most looked up to aren't the greatest role models after all. You find that nobody's perfect, superheroes don't exist, and your best friend is capable of breaking your heart.

And these are all hard things to deal with. Think about the time when you first came to a realization like this. The first time you were truly let down by someone you thought was perfect....it's hard to accept. It ruins your trust in that person and the whole world, even, because if you can't trust them...you really can't trust anyone.

Good people can make bad choices. Bad people can make good choices. So what are we left with? Well, there's really only one explanation for it all -- we're all sinners.

It's tempting to convince ourselves that "good" people and "bad" people exist, and that some people are "worse" then others, while some are just plain "better". We all do it -- we hear about murderers and decide, whether consciously or not, that our measly little sins -- say, spreading some rumors or going over the speed limit -- aren't nearly as bad.

In fact, in our minds, sin itself almost begins to take on various shades of gray -- we categorize our sins according to our own personal motives, values, and justifications. The darkest shades of gray are reserved for the worst crimes -- terrorists and child molesters and so forth. Then there's the lightest hues, like "white lies" or purposefully ignoring responsibilities, that don't seem nearly as bad.

But the fact is, while shades of gray might exist in our own minds, they don't exist with God. His views, unlike ours, are quite black-and-white. He can easily distinguish between right and wrong, and there is no middle ground.
With God, there is either sin (black) or there isn't (white). With God, you are either a sinner (us) or you're not (Jesus).

"For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all." -- James 2:10

This means that all sins are bad -- equally bad. Every sin out there, no matter how harmless it seems to us, is still a sin; and that sin still seperates us from our Holy, perfect God. That means that every sinner out there (every single person!) is equally bad, and equally seperated from God.

This becomes a scary thought for us, though! Suddenly our pride takes a hit....

What?? We're now in the same group as all those bad guys? All the terrible, guilty parties? We are like them??

Yes.

And God loves us?!?!

Yes.

And so...by the transitive property of God's love....well, just look: We know that the terrible people in the world are sinners. We know taht WE are sinners, just like them. We know that God loves us. So the only logical conclusion is that God loves the terrible people in the world, just like He loves us.

That's not to say that He approves of or is proud of bad choices, not at all! But He loves people who make bad choices regardless. There is not one person on earth who is "too far gone" for God. No matter what evil or heinous act you have committed, He still loves you and wants you to be His child. He is ready with grace and forgiveness; ready to welcome you back...but you've got to admit your sin and let God take control.

We are not perfect. We will ALL mess up!! We will make bad choices -- and God will love us anyway. He'll forgive us -- again -- and let us start over. He doesn't love us because we are "good" people -- He loves us because we are His people.

There's one fact of life I CAN accept -- no shades of gray involved :)