Bad day

Ugh. It's been one of those days. You know the kind I mean, right? First of all, it's Monday. I was awakened much too early this morning by the phone. Naturally, it was a wrong number. I'm out of toothpaste. Even though I got up on time, I was VERY LATE in getting out of the house; the lateness carried over and permeated my entire day. I was stressed out at preschool, trying to do too many things at once and handle too much responsibility. I almost got hit three times driving to the community college for an observation. I had to leave the observation, which I was truly interested in, early in order to get to class on time. I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO CLASS ON TIME, due to construction, two busses (sp?!?!) and two wrong turns. For the first time ever, I had the displeasure of walking in to classs and slinking into my front-row seat while the prof was talking. Nice job, MMSG. Urgh. Doors were locked when they shouldn't have been; I forgot my gloves; I didn't have time to eat anything until just NOW; I almost ran out of gas and spent way too much filling up the tank; computer repair guy was supposed to come fix my keyboard this afternoon and so far, he hasn't even bothered to show up; I have a test on Wednesday which I haven't studied for and I also have a paper due which I haven't even started....

You get the picture. It's just been one of those days. The days that make me hiss at people (yes. I'm totally serious here. Ask the Lil' Bro. He's been on the receiving end of an awful lot of hissing lately. Sorry, Lil Bro!). The days that make me want to throw things. The days that make want to crawl in bed with a long book and say "Heck with you, you big stinky world! I DON'T want to deal with you anymore!"

Sidebar: Heh. As I'm sitting here griping, I'm reminded of a line from Notting Hill (*confession* This is currently one of my FAVORITE MOVIES EVER. Something about it...maybe it's Hugh Grant's [who plays William] adorable accent....just makes me go weak at the knees. I cry every time I watch it. Pathetic, I know...*sigh*)...

Spike: You couldn't help me with an incredibly important decision, now, could you?
William: This isn't important in comparison to, say, the decision over whether or not we should cancel Third World countries' debt, now, is it?
.....
William (to Anna): Can't we just laugh about all this? I mean, seriously, in the hugh sweep of things, this is nothing! This stuff doesn't actually matter!
Spike (to Anna): What he's going to say next is that there are starving children in the Sudan.
William (to Anna): Well, there are! And this is nothing compared to that!

So yeah. I know. I know I know I KNOW!!! So maybe my problems are inconsequential, in the grand scheme of things. And I know that, gosh darn it! I really do!! I really DON'T want to be reminded of it again, thank you very much; I'd much rather wallow in my own self-pity and moan some more. Leave me alone, Hugh. *glares*

And yet. Somehow, after He rolls his eyes and shakes His head, God always reaches down and touches my heart and helps me get myself back on track, and refocus my thoughts and attitude. Today He did so through a song, as He often seems to do with me when I'm in moods like this. And it wasn't a new song. It was a song I've heard a bazillion times in my life; a song that, admittedly, I sometimes grow tired of and change the station when it comes on, looking for something newer or more interesting. But today, it spoke to me in a way I didn't expect.

It was "How Great is Our God" (<-- sung here by Hillsong. This video gave me goosebumps!)

It really just jolted me out of my I'd-really-like-to-pick-up-my-Statistics-textbook-and-chuck-it-at-this-nincompoop-who's-STILL-tailgating-me-cuz-maybe-THAT-would-get-him-off-my-butt thoughts and made me think.

How great IS our God? How incredible is it that we have a God who loves us even when we're not loving Him, when we're not loving life, when we're not loving all the blessings He's given us? How amazing is it that our God will forgive us for our grumpy, selfish, textbook-throwing thoughts and welcome us back with open arms? How wonderful is it to know that even when I'm having a bad day, God is in control? How blessed are we to have a God this great?!

(Funny how on bad days, everyday knowledge often feels like stunning epiphanies [sp?]).

Happy Valentines Day!

Quick Valentines-y thoughts, courtesy of Heartlight.com:

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are
loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of
ourselves.

-- Victor Hugo



I thank my God every time I remember you.

-- Philippians 1:3


Hope you all have a truly LOVEly Valentine's Day, spent with people you love, and remembering the greatest love of all:


"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. "
-- John 3:16


[And, before you all get too excited...No. Unfortunately, the fact that I typed "Happy" above does not actually mean that my p key has been fixed. Quite the contrary, in fact; the keyboard was fixed incorrectly and now NONE of the keys on my laptop's keyboard work. *Sigh*. But, I currently have access to the family computer (which is typically hoarded by my dear Lil Bro), since Lil Bro is still asleep. Bwahahaha.]

A Quote for Today

"The opposite of bravery is not cowardice, but conformity."

     -- Robert Anthony

Echo

While I was writing a paper for English I was searching for quotes about eyes, which led me to some poems by George Herbert, which led me to discover this one, which I think is quite beautiful.

Heaven, by George Herbert

O who will show me those delights on high?
Echo. I.
Thou Echo, thou art mortall, all men know.
Echo. No.
Wert thou not born among the trees and leaves?
Echo. Leaves.
And are there any leaves, that still abide?
Echo. Bide.
What leaves are they? impart the matter wholly.
Echo. Holy.
Are holy leaves the Echo then of blisse?
Echo. Yes.
Then tell me, what is that supreme delight?
Echo. Light.
Light to the minde : what shall the will enjoy?
Echo. Joy.
But are there cares and businesse with the pleasure?
Echo. Leisure.
Light, joy, and leisure ; but shall they persever?
Echo. Ever.

Thought for the day:

"all which isn't singing is mere talking
and all talking's talking to oneself."

--e. e. cummings

Sing praises to God today! This might very well be the furthest thing from your mind as you struggle to make it through another gray Monday, but believe it or not, we are called to sing praises to God! Don't let your day be consumed by grumbling and "talking to oneself"; instead, make a conscious effort to sing and praise God for all your blessings.


"Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully and shout for joy!" Psalm 33:3

Thought for the day...

We are fascinated by that which we cannot do.

Case in point.

[How many of you determinedly kept trying to succeed, just to see what would happen?]

We're obsessed with the impossible.

Thankfully, so is God.

"It is only the impossible that is possible for God. He has given over the possible to the mechanics of matter and the autonomy of his creatures. " --Simone Weil

"Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing." – John Andrew Holmes

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

[Thank you to Pastor for the email and link that sparked the thoughts!]

Contrary to popular belief....

....Running is not about math.

Not at all.

In fact, it has nothing to do with numbers.

This is what I discovered today.

Now, I know. I'm sure some of you are taking a deep breath and geering up for a big argument that no doubt starts with something along the lines of, "Well, actually MMSG, the sport of running has an awful lot to do with math. You see, there's rather important concepts like oh, say, distance, minutes, seconds, miles, kilometers, time, calories, speed, the distance/rate/time formula...all of these, believe it or not, are related to math and have an awful lot to do with numbers. So you see, you are very wrong."

Ok, fine. You've got a point. Maybe I should word it differently...

Running should not be about math. Or, for that matter, numbers.



I'm a relatively new runner. I only just started running last month.

But regardless, in these last few weeks, running and I have gone through a lot of phases.

When I first started running, there were a whole bunch of feelings, though most of them centered around the general idea that, "This is great! This is the coolest thing I've ever done! I love it!". Week one was mostly made up of excitement about trying something new.

By week two, however, the novelty had worn off. Excitement was replaced by exhaustion and thoughts like, "Oh, man. Shouldn't it be easier by now?! Ugh. I can't do this. There's no way I can keep doing this!" dominated my consciousness. I was tired and wondering how much longer I could keep it up. Was this really the right sport for me?

Week three hurt, quite frankly. If nothing else, it tested my resolve and determination.

But week four dawned bright and I found myself redoubling my efforts. Motivation soared as I hit the I've-been-running-for-one-month milestone and I pushed myself harder than ever; determined to prove how much I'd improved. Week four hurt, too, but at least I was proud of myself.

Week five was much the same; in the midst of a million other commitments I crammed in time to run... because I had to, after all. I had to get in those extra 10 minutes; I had to do that extra mile, I had to run a fourth day. I had to push myself even harder; I had to beat my best time; I had to get better and do more.

And today is the start of week six. And today also happens to be the day that I've had an ephiphany.

Which brings me back to the statement: Running is not (or should not) be about numbers.

What it boils down to, is that I have finally realized that when I am totally focused on miles, minutes or m.p.h., I'm not having fun.

I started running because it was fun. Because it relieved stress. Because, in the midst of a totally crazy life it gave me time to think my thoughts without distractions. I thrived on the time I spent running on my little country roads, surrounded by forests and birds in the distances and cornfields. I loved the solitude. It was refreshing and invigorating and it made me feel good.

But I allowed myself to get caught up in getting better; doing more; going further. My motivations shifted. Instead of wanting to run, I dreaded it, because I knew I'd be pushing myself even further and becoming even more exhausted. Instead of looking forward to something that had, just a few weeks ago, relaxed and refreshed me, I found that I was instead dreading this thing that was, ironically, causing me more stress.

The over-achieving perfectionist in me dominated the dreamer in me. And I wasn't happy anymore! It took a deer, an icy wind and a drenching rainstorm today, during my run, to make me realize that in a few short weeks I had -- all on my own -- managed to ruin one of the few things that made me happy. I had allowed the numbers to invade!

Here is what I told my very best friend about my revelation-of-a-run earlier today:

....It was an interesting run. I decided to do my favorite route and I set out under the looming, ominous, gloriously dark gray storm clouds praying the rain would hold off til I got home, with the goal of beating my current record, if even only by a few seconds. The first half of my run was great -- for the first time in a month, I felt like I've made some progress. I found that I was running for longer periods without slowing to a walk and I felt really good. So I kept pushing myself and pushing myself and soon I was gasping for breath and every muscle in my body was screaming, "No! I can't take anymore!" and I felt like I was going to throw up. At that point, I realized that if I was pushing myself to the point where I was making myself ill then clearly I'd lost sight of all the reasons I'd started running and I needed to chill out and rethink my priorities (I think all those endorphins make me all philosophical-like. The strangest thoughts go through my head when I run!).

As I was arguing with myself about all this, I turned a corner and quite literally almost ran right smack into a deer, who was just as surprised about our meeting as I was. I think we were only about a foot away by the time it lept one way and I veered the other way. It was pretty cool! (And a pretty stinking big deer, too, I might add!!!)

ANYWAY, now, (in my continued philosophical state) I wondered if perhaps this was God's way of telling me to slow down and enjoy this run, rather then push myself to total exhaustion. And since at that point, I was nearly doubled over from cramps, I sort of had to slow down to a "brisk walk" anyway.

It was at this point that I finally realized it was raining 9and, unbeknownst to me, probably had been for quite awhile) and I was rather wet. Drenched, actually.

So -- here I am, two miles away from home, drenched, caught in a downpour; being blow about by an icy wind [it's only about 50 degrees today anyway], in pain from intense running and already exhausted, and what do I do??

What do you think? This is me, we're talking about.

I stopped and looked heavenward and, in a very Hollywood-movie-like way, spread out my arms and twirled around in the decending drops and said, "Thank you, God, for thunderstorms."...

Is there something in your life that you are dreading right now, even though you used to enjoy it? Maybe it's because, without you realizing it, your priorities have shifted. Maybe you're doing something with different motivations or for different reasons then you originally intended.

There's more to life then numbers and being the best and beating records. Sometimes, you've got to do something solely because it brings you joy and helps you appreciate life. Sometimes, you just have to dance around in a thunderstorm.

"Life isn't about learning how to avoid the storms. It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

p.s. I really REALLY like the title of this post. It's one of my favorite phrases! It just occurred to me that it might be a good title for this blog, instead of "Upon a Thought", which I don't really like. I might change it. Hmmm!

Do You Know?

Good Monsters
Jars of Clay

All the good monsters open their eyes
To see the wasteland where the home fires rise
And the people shouting, "Why, why, why"

Do you know what you are?
Do you know what you are?

All the giants wake from their sleep
And roll outside of safety's keep
And the pain makes them feel so alive

Do you know what you are; do you know what you are?
We are bored of all the things we know
Do you know what you are; do you know what you are?

Not all monsters are bad
But the ones who are good
Never do what they could, never do what they could

All the good monsters rattle their chains
And dance around the open flames
They make a lot of empty noise

While all of the bright eyes turn away
As if there wasn't anything to say
About the justice and the mystery

Do you know what you are?
Do you know what you are?
We are bored of all the things that we know
And we are forms of everything we love, we love..

If good won't show its ugly face,
Evil won't you take your place?
Nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes
By itself

We are bored of all the things that we know
Do you know what you are?
Because we are so in love with ourselves

We are forms of all the things we love.

------------------------------------

Do you know what you are?

You've all heard the famous quote, "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for a good man to stand by and do nothing." (Edmund Burke).

I don't have to tell you how true this is. I don't have to tell you what pain and humiliation feels like when you're in the midst of a group that is harassing you, picking on you, making fun of you; I don't have to tell you what hope feels like when you see someone, standing off to the edge of the group, silent, not taking part. The one person who might be able to save you. I don't have to tell you how much it hurts when that one single person turns their back and walks away, leaving you to whatever humiliation you're enduring. I don't have to tell you because I'm sure you've been through it before.Betrayal. That's what it boils down to.

Do you know what you are?

Are you a good monster? The kind no one's ever heard of? The kind that just stands by and lets all the evil monsters ruin the reputation of monsters everywhere; the kind who doesn't dare to challenge the stereotype or defy the expected?

"Nothing ever changes...by itself." Are you standing by and watching evil triumph?Pick a situation in your life that you're currently involved in... without really being "involved in". Somewhere where you're standing by, helplessly; not getting involved but not doing anything to change it, either. Well -- I challenge you to change it.
Don't let evil triumph. Whether your goal is to end the turmoil in Darfur or to confess to your parents that it was you, and not your little brother, who flooded the bathroom... Don't just "make a lot of empty noise."

Do you know what you are?

Well then -- stand up and tell the world.
Show them what you are and what you believe.

Advice from Dr Seuss

EEEP! This blog has been getting altogether too serious for me lately. Too...dark and intense. I think that's why I haven't written lately, because I haven't been in this deep contemplative mood...I've been too busy loving life :)
I think I need to change layout, too...with Spring just around the corner and my current intense good mood, I'm feeling the need for something much happier and brighter!!


(Thank you, Hannah dear, for the idea that sparked this post. Your "bumper sticker" did it!)

So! Last week (March 2) was Dr. Seuss' birthday. (Yes, you guys remember....good ol' Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, Fox in Socks, the Biddle Beetle Battle Bubble [I can't ever remember the name of that one!!! Anyone else know the real title?!], How The Grinch Stole Christmas, The Lorax, Oh The Places You'll Go! (a personal favorite!) and so many other classics)... I celebrated this momentous occasion by dressing up as Cat in the Hat himself and reading "Green Eggs and Ham" to the preschoolers. It was incredibly exciting, actually :)

Dr Seuss is one of my all time favorite authors -- he always has been. I mean, how can you not love a writer who rhymes nonsense words and still makes sense!? In all seriousness, though, look at the themes of his books -- the spirit of Christmas is about more then gifts, there are plenty of things to do on rainy days [creativity and optimism], and even (*gasp!*) trying new (green!) foods might actually turn out to be a positive experience [open-mindedness]!! But on top of that, Dr Seuss has some truly insightful words of wisdom to live by as well.

Take this quote, for instance:

"Be who you are
and say what you feel,
because those who mind, don't matter,
and those who matter, don't mind."

Ever struggle with self-esteem? With being to shy or self-concious to be yourself? Everyone's always loudly proclaiming, "BE YOURSELF!" "STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF!" but the majority of the time, "everyone" fails to acknowledge how scary that can be. Sometimes it's much easier to conform and melt into the crowd. (Trust me, I know!) To become just one more of the sea of faces out there, and not worry about being singled out. To silence your own voice for fear of being heard.

Today in Sunday School we talked about love, and all the different facets of love. How the media portrays love. How this country sees love. How the world as a whole defines love. How we as individuals understand love. Ways to express love and how love is manifested...you get the idea.

Love is supportive. (See 1 Corinth. 13: 1-13 for more on the Biblical definition of love). It is through love that we find the courage and support we need to become who we are!! Whether we're kids, teens or adults, or anywhere in between, it seems to be a lifelong struggle to find our "place" in this world, doesn't it? We are constantly trying to figure out how we fit in and who we are....

And it is through and because of the love of our family, friends and God that we have the freedom to take some leaps of faith, try new things and figure out just WHO we are!

Don't be afraid to go out there and do something crazy! Wear mismatched socks. Watch a VeggieTales movie. Go skipping down the streets of Argentina singing Dora the Explorer songs. Eat dessert first. Speak your mind. Take a walk in the rain. Re-read one of your favorite books from eons ago, back in your childhood days. Wear your clothes backwards and see how many people notice. Go out to eat at midnight in your pajamas. Smile at 50 specific people today and tell them you hope they're having a great day. Give hugs to someone you care about.

It's OK to defy the ordinary and be unique! I'm finding that the people in your life who truly care about you will love you despite..or perhaps because of!...your zaniness. When you do something silly, they'll still love you. When you speak your mind, whether they agree with you or not...they'll still love you. And it's love like this that gives us strength, hope and courage.

Don't let yourself become consumed by other's opinions. After all, EVERYONE has an opinion about EVERYTHING, somewhere deep down, and yes, there are going to be people who will look at you funny and point and whisper when you wear mismatched socks. But hey, that's OK. You've got the love of those who care about you backing you up -- because "...those who matter won't mind".

So take the immortal words of Dr Seuss to heart (No, no, no, not, "Would you eat them with a goat? Would you eat them on a boat?!"...) and I challenge you today to go out there and say what you feel. (And maybe wear mismatched socks while doing it???)

Those Frustrating Folks...

There are some people in life who drive me crazy.

Sometimes, it's over little, stupid, pointless things...Take, for example, that person driving towards you who never bothers to turn off their headlights. Or, the inconsiderate person who drops a container of butter in the grocery store and then just walks away and leaves the mess there for someone ELSE to deal with.

Now, admittedly, there are bigger issues in life. There are people who more then just annoy me -- they infuriate me! There are people who support causes I don't agree with and criticize me for my beliefs. There are people who seem to be determined to inform me of every single one of my flaws. There are "friends" who have turned on me. There are those who are prideful and self-centered and can't stop bragging; those who are mean and cold-hearted...I could go on and on.

Everyone has people in their life that make life harder, sadder, angrier, scarier, or more unbearable. And we often wonder -- why can't it be easier?
Why do I have to deal with people who hurt my feelings, break promises, cause fights, get me in trouble, etc, etc, etc?
What could we possibly gain from all these negative interactions that ruin our day?

Look at what Walt Whitman has to say in answer to this question:

Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you? -- Walt Whitman

Think about these words for a moment.

Whitman implies that we can learn something from those that drive us insane; those that anger us and cause us pain or struggling.

He's right. Just as we can learn things from positive intereactions with people, we can learn just as much -- if not more -- from negative intereactions. We learn how to deal with opposition, stubborness, and anger. We can learn a great deal about patience, humility, kindness and most of all, forgiveness.

God gives us the opportunities to interact with people who will ruin our day, make our lives miserable and bring us to tears -- what matters is what you learn from it. You learn a lesson from every situation, no matter how bleak it is. You just have to open your eyes and see the opportunity!! Maybe God's giving you a chance to practice being thankful. Maybe He's letting you learn how to stand up for yourself. Maybe He wants you to try listening to someone else's opinions...but you've got to be looking for the opportunity to learn, and to love.

In Control??

As you've all probably noticed, I like to put quotes in my lovely little sidebar over on the right ------>
I look for quotes about dreams, leadership, nonconformity...things that inspire me, things that, I think, say a lot about who I am and what I value. So I was checking out some quotes tonight, and I was looking at a section about leadership and taking responsibility. In my reading, I came across a poem by William Ernest Henley, which ends with these lines:

I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

Now, I've read a lot of poems. But I don't think I've ever read two lines that scared me more then these did. Why? Just think about it for a minute...

First of all, I need to note here that I believe we are all sinners...but let me pause right here. A sinner is someone who commits something wrong; in other words, someone who is guilty of wrong thoughts, actions, or words. I believe that we can try as hard as we possibly can and still, we will sin. Every day. And there's no way around that -- but that's where God's grace and forgiveness comes in (but that's another topic for another post...) Now, I know some you that are reading this probably don't agree with that statement -- the we are all sinners by nature, no matter how hard we try.

Well, then I have to ask you flat out: Are you perfect? (Please be totally honest. You're not allowed to say, "Yes, except when..." or "Most of the time". It's all-or-nothing -- a yes or no question.) If you answered "yes", congratulations -- you are THE first perfect human being to EVER exist! Give yourself a pat on the back! But if you answered "no", keep reading...

The fact of the matter is, whether we care to admit it or not, we have ALL sinned (and continue to sin!)-- over and over and over again! And, whether we like it or not, there is NOTHING we can do about this. We can resolve to do better. We can try harder next time. But we will NEVER EVER EVER achieve perfection (I know. I have a really hard time accepting this too). Despite all the best efforts in the world, we will still succomb to temptation, make mistakes, and take the wrong path.

Are you start to get depressed? I am!! But I promise, there's a point...

Well, are you beginning to see why I find those two seemingly harmless lines of poetry so scary? Here, read them again:

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Now, if "I" is an imperfect, sinning human being, and "I" is also the master of his fate and the captain of his soul...well, you see the problem.

We can't possibly make the right choice all the time...or even most of the time! There's no conceiveable way that we, as humans (and therefore, sinners) can always know what is best, always choose the right path, always make the right decision, and always turn away from temptation. Therefore, if WE are controlling are fates and souls, and WE make mistakes...!

"For all have sinnned and fall short of the glory of God" -- Romans 3:23

Your soul is forever. I don't know about you, but "forever" is not something that I want to make a mistake on!

And, when you think about it...if we are mastering and captaining (I'm not sure if those are words, but go with it) our soul, our fate...that's a HUGE amount of responsibility!!! I don't know about you all, but I get nervous when I have the responsibility of, say, taking care of class pets (frogs) for a weekend or walking my neighbor's dogs... and that's only for a few hours or days, at most. This is for FOREVER...for ETERNITY...for longer then we can possibly fathom!!

So here is my point: if we as sinners (imperfect, mistake-making humans) consider ourselves to be in control of our souls, where is that going to lead us? Quite frankly, we are going to run ourselves into a wall. Do you honestly and truly trust yourself to control where you will spend eternity? That's quite a risk. Do you honestly believe that you know enough about how to live, what choices to make and what's best for you and the rest of the world to take on that ENORMOUS responsibility???

Well, I can tell you right now -- I DON'T! I know for a fact that I can't handle that. I don't want to. I don't even want to think about controlling my soul or being the master of my fate -- YIKES!!

Thank goodness for us -- there is another option!!

Put quite simply: There is God. God is omniscient. He knows EVERYTHING, and even better, He has a plan for you and me and the rest of the galaxy. He's willing to take the blame for our sins -- in fact, He already has. He's willing to take us as we are -- the sinning, whining, imperfect beings we are. He's willing to take on the entire responsibility of directing our lives, mastering our fates and yes, our souls too. He's willing to lift that heavy burden of the responsibility of eternity from our shoulders and take the entire thing -- if only we'll let Him.

Why is it that we fight God on this? I can't figure it out. This is something I've been thinking about alot lately. Why do I, when I know quite well that I DO NOT know everyhing (sometimes I wonder if I know anything, actually....) and yet from time to time, I get these rebellious flare-ups and I try to insist that I know better then God. Me...that I know better then the One who created the universe and everything in it, including me...ha! And after times like these, I can imagine God sitting up in Heaven, sighing and shaking His head and laughing at my appalling and crazy behavior...It really must be pretty funny, watching us humans try to control our lives and our destinys, but really just making a huge mess of things in the process!

I know I'm sounding redundant here, but this is an important point...I think it warrants repetition :)

In the end, is it worth it? No. Sure, it's fun for a short time; me pretending I'm in control and that I really have a clue what I'm doing...but I always end up learning my lesson and rededicating my life God. I always come to the same conclusion -- that I'm just plain incapable of handling my life. So why even try? It makes much more sense to dedicate it to the One who made me and gave me my life then for me to go about ruining it out of pride and stubbornness...!

It all boils down to this: God knows what He's doing, and we, being the sinners that we are, cannot be trusted with the control of our souls. We can try to wrench control away from God, but it will always get us in trouble. So we need to simply relinquish that control -- which can be the hardest thing in the world to do, especially if you're a control freak like me -- and accept that He is God and He knows what He's doing and where He's taking us.

And it's amazing how simple life becomes after that. It is truly amazing how relieving it is to know that you DON'T have this massive, eternal burden -- that you just have to listen and follow and trust. :)

Words and Meanings

Happy Birthday, C. S. Lewis!!

Today, (November 29, 2007) one of my favorite authors would have been 109! In celebration of his birthday, I googled some C.S. Lewis quotes. Here's one of my favorites:

"Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite."

I love this quote because it applies directly to me :) I am forever using humongous, gargantuan words in place of teeny tiny normal (and rather dull, I must admit) ones, because I, being the crazy homeschooler that I am, loooove vocabulary :) However, Mr. Lewis is entirely right. But really, this whole phenomenon of stripping words of their true value is something that really bothers me. When we use strong words in situations when we don't really need them, their meaning becomes less and less intense. And slowly, throughout time, we begin to get desensitized to the true meaning of some amazing words.

Take love, for example. We have so over used love that it has lost so much of its meaning. "I LOVE chocolate!" or "Have you watched American Idol this week?! I love that show!" are exclamations we hear all that time. But what does "love" mean? Well, that could be a rather long, off-topic post, so let's check dictionary.com:

Love (v): to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for someone

So, as much as you might enjoy, savor or appreciate chocolate, or your favorite TV show, chances are, you probably don't feel "profoundly tender, passionate affection" for either of these things. (If you do, well, then you really need to get out more!!)

Love is a powerful thing. Love is what, more then anything else, characterizes our relationship with God. Through love for us, He sent His Son. Through love for us, Jesus took our place and died. Through love, we are forgiven -- over and over again. Through love, we have a place in heaven -- a place we do not and can not ever deserve. We cannot afford to lose the meaning of love, because it defines so much of what we believe in. Never forget John 3:16:

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that we may not perish, but have eternal life.

That's a pretty powerful love, if you ask me!! Something far more powerful then that which could descibe chocolate or TV :)

Now, please know that I'm not saying you should strike the word love from your vocabularly in order to preserve its meaning. All I ask is that you really consider what love means. We can see love whenever we look at God; we can learn about love whenever we read the Bible; we can experience love through our relationships with Him. Bear all this in mind -- because this is the true meaning of love.

With that being said, just remember to think about the meaning of the words you're using.

So, once again, Happy Birthday C. S. Lewis!

And, just a thought: even if you've all read "The Chronicles of Narnia", I highly recommend you read the series...or at least, the first two books...again. They just get better every time! Also, The Screwtape Letters is one of my all time favorite books -- a must-read!

Happy **** Birthday???

I walked into CVS today with a mission -- I had three birthday cards to buy, for friends’ upcoming birthdays. I made a beeline for the colossal aisle dedicated to cards, and was happy to find that a significant portion of it was dedicated solely to birthday cards. I figured with all these choices, I could easily find “the perfect card”. (Now, I don’t particularly LIKE birthday-card-shopping, because I can never find, in my opinion, “the perfect card”. But like I said -- there were SO MANY choices here!)

Hours later (OK, not quite, but you get the point), I still had nothing. But you would be amazed at some of the things I found. Apparently, birthday cards NOT containing curse words are in the minority. It’s awful! Now, call me naïve, but I’ve always assumed that cursing is something we should AVOID, not sanction by using profanity in birthday cards! Have we, as a society, become so used to and therefore immune to the effects of cursing that we don’t even notice the fact that foul language has permeated nearly every part of our lives? TV shows and commercials use cursing all the time. Even many PG movies contain a curse word or two; I’ve even stumbled across a few G movies that have questionable language!! Books, music, talk show hosts, websites; every form of media possible -- and now, even in birthday cards. It finally got to the point where I‘d found a card that said, “Happy **** 13th Birthday”. Did you see that? 13th birthday -- this card wasn’t even geared toward adults! At that point, I’d had enough and I left the store.

I wish I could say that maybe it’s just this particular store; that not all birthday cards are that bad, but the truth is, this is the fourth store I’ve been in that is packed with inappropriate cards. Personally, I find it absolutely revolting.

“…bless and do not curse.” -- Romans 12:14

I absolutely, positively CAN NOT STAND profanity. And there are so many reasons why…I think that use of curse words makes you look like you are an uneducated individual who is unable to come up with a more fitting and appropriate word to describe whatever situation you’re currently in. I think in some cases, cursing is just a bad habit (in which case -- break the habit!!). But, I also think cursing is often used simply as a way to “fit in”. Whether we intend to or not, our society sends the message that using curse words makes you special, important, even “cool”. We need to do our best to fight that image, and declare to the world the profanity is simply unacceptable.

The first step in doing this is obvious: Don’t allow yourself to indulge in the temptation to use curse words. But this alone is not enough. Edmund Burke once said, “All that is require for evil to triumph is for a good man to stand by and do nothing”. Are you standing by and doing nothing? Or are you ready to stand up for what you believe in? You must also make it clear to your friends that you will not listen to inappropriate language.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” --Romans 12:21

Don’t kid yourself, and pretend that cursing isn’t that big of a deal, or that God doesn’t really mind, or that if you only do it once in a while, it doesn’t matter. The fact is: it matters. God states it pretty clearly in Leviticus: “Do not misuse my name. I am the LORD your God, and I will punish anyone who misuses my name.”

There are so many GOOD things we can do with our speech -- God didn’t give it to us so we can curse! God clearly states what he expects of us in Ephesians:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” --Ephesians 4:29; 5:4

I never did find those original three birthday cards, but that's OK -- God had a plan there, too. I ended up calling each of my friends to really wish them a Happy Birthday, and the resulting conversations were wonderful!!

Speaking of birthdays, today happens to be my brother's birthday....Happy Birthday, J! Love ya!

Becoming

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."
-- e. e. cummings

I just recently stumbled upon this quote by e. e. cummings, one of my all time favorite poets. Think about it for a moment...

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."

Courage. It takes courage to grow up...I never thought about it that way before. "Growing up" has always been something inevitable; something that has to happen, something that I have no control over. But think of it this way -- "It takes courage to grow up..."... e. e. is acknowledging that, yes, growing up is a scary thing! It's uncertain and challenging and confusing and crazy and scary and wonderful and exciting all at once -- and it sure does take a good dose of courage to manage it!

Look at the second part of this quote: "...and become who you REALLY ARE." Well. How many of us teens are still trying to figure out who we "really are"? *raises hand* That's the scariest part of growing up, if you ask me: being thrown into a world of adulthood, and expected to navigate your way around all by yourself. To know what you believe, why you believe it, how to act and how you feel about any given thing. To realize what you want, what you need, what you like and what you don't. To find a purpose for your life, a goal for the future and a way to realize those dreams...sheesh. And in the world we live in today, we are expected to grow up, and to grow up quickly! Anyone else getting exhausted just thinking about it?!? I guess that's where the "courage" part comes in. "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."... Not who you are now, or who you were in the past, but "who you really are."

Well. I don't know about the rest of you, but do you ever feel like that courage is failing you sometimes? Or that you don't have any courage to begin with? *raises hand again*

Check out Deuteronomy 31:6 :
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Wow...how's that for reassurance?? As we all go through this scary time of our lives, when we are faced with all kinds of decisions and choices, and as we begin to learn and grow and become "who we really are", isn't it comforting to know that God is always with us? He will grant us the courage we need in those moments of uncertainty and doubt, because He will "never leave nor forsake" us!!