Centennial!

Happy 100th Post, Mismatchedsockgirl!!!! YAAAY!

Wow...can you guys believe that I've posted 100 times?! Does that just totally boggle your mind?! Considering my first post started out over a year ago with, "So here begins a renewed attempt at blogging. The posts will be sporadic and random; about whatever thoughts are consuming my head at the moment. Who knows what will end up here...maybe some poems, maybe some stories, maybe some musing, maybe some quotes, maybe some arguments; most likely, a good mix of all of the above."

Even more interesting is the fact that I think I've had all of the aforementioned stuff in posts at one time or another.

So, in the spirit of 100-ness, here are 100 Facts About Mismatchedsockgirl, which I did indeed steal from Polka Dot Pickles, only I had to edit it a little bit because a lot of the numbers were missing.


1 - EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
Yes. By a four year old. It was an old twisty-tie from his lunch. He gave me one every day for two months. *sigh*

2 - EVER WON A CONTEST?
I’m the reigning champion of the annual church picnic’s hula-hoop contest. I’ve won or tied for first every year for the last 8 years. I’ve also won a few assorted call-now-to-win radio contests (one of which resulted in my receiving a VeggieTales movie, YEAH!) and a few poetry contests.

3 - LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
A beautiful and wonderful necklace from my best friend!

4 - EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Daily. Hourly, probably. Most notable incidents were probably in a parking lot (in a puddle, no less!) and from my two-stories-in-the-air deck to the very hard ground. Heh. And here I wonder why the thing only works sporadically….

5 - WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Oh, goodness, this is embarrassing. Let’s just say… awhile.

6 - THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
Buying presents for friends. Overdue fines at the library. Gas. Mocha lattes from Wawa.

7 - LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Hot chocolate and three rectangles of a Hershey bar that I may or may not have commandeered from my brother….

8 - FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes….eyes are so magical!

9 - ONE FAVORITE SONG?
ONE favorite song?! You’re asking me to pick ONE favorite?! Don’t you know by now that I can’t DO that?!?! *sigh* Note to self: make a list of favorite songs for future post.

10 - WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
In a blue house

11 - HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
homeschooled, baby! Oh yeah!

12 - CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
ATT

13 - FAVORITE MALL STORE
Learning Express, Waldenbooks, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, Haagen-Daz, sometimes Kohl’s

14 - LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
I’ve worked/volunteered at preschool for five years…

15 - DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Um…yes…fuzzy dice, actually. I won them at a church picnic in an awesome game of bingo. Only my mother won’t let me hang them in the Batmobile (family minivan) so they’re in my room.

16 - DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
A few times, but I’m truly terrible at it. And for some strange reason, everyone I’d normally prank call has caller ID! What’s up with THAT?! Coincidence? I think not…

17 - LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
I have been to a total of ONE wedding in my entire life, and that was when I was about…8?

18 - FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Very Best Friend in the Whole Entire Galaxy, of course

19 - LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
Monday! Which was EONS ago!

20 - FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT
Sheetz! Mmmm….roast beef & cheddar pretzel melt and frozen mochas….

21 - BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
I’ve heard some whoppers while babysitting. “Yes, I’m allowed to play with matches. Sometimes we light the Christmas tree branches, just to see how much of it will burn!” or “I’m allergic to fruit and vegetables and milk and crackers. All I can really eat is soda and M&Ms.”

22. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Sort of. I try. I can complete about two rotations and then I loose everything. And I have to walk forward while I do it; I can’t stand still.

23 - WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Very Best Friend’s kitchen table

24 - CAN YOU COOK?
Heck yeah! Can I do it well? Heck no!

25 - WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
The Batmobile, the world’s greatest black minivan, which always smells like popcorn or wet dog, depending on the season. Occasionally I drive Bob the Tomato, which is the Big Red Work Van, but it shakes, rattles and rolls, so it’s not quite as happy-making as the Batmobile is.

26. MOST BIZARRE THING YOU’VE EVER EATEN?
Onion grass, chocolate covered prunes, cow tongue. All voluntarily, believe it or not; and I hated all of them, believe it or not.

27 - LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
Sad tears? Yesterday. Happy tears? Tuesday.

28 - MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Nearly every green food, peaches, cantaloupe, cranberries, grapes, prunes, apricot kiffels (thank you, youth leader; that one’s entirely your fault)

29 - THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
Mismatched socks/accessories. Sheer brilliance. Night owl habits. Ability to relate to others’ situations. Tendency to talk fast and A LOT. Insane enthusiasm. My best friend.

30 - THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
Tendency to talk fast and A LOT. Inclination towards drama. Speaking before thinking. Total terror of talking on the phone. Feet. Lack of any directional sense (North? South? Huh?). Tendency to FREAK OUT over every little thing. Worrywartish nature.

31. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
A very very very tiny bit of piano. Even less clarinet. Almost-decent amount of the guitar (this is the only instrument I really enjoy playing). Oh, and I kick butt on a kazoo.

32 - LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
I’ve had babysitting jobs that lasted five days -- night and day. Loved them!

33 - FAVORITE MOVIE?
VeggieTales, Just Like Heaven, The Village, Sixth Sense, The Others, The Lake House, Notting Hill, Pirates of the Caribbean 1 & 2

34 - CAN YOU SING?
*Please see answer for #24*

35 - LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
………I would hafta say it was SWiM back at Regionals? Wowza, it’s been a long time since I was at a concert….

36 LAST KISS?
A goodbye kiss from a five year old family friend

37 LAST MOVIE RENTED:
“Friends -- the complete 6th season” and “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and “You’ve Got Mail”

38 - ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
Cell phone, chapstick, bobby pins, notebook, bracelet from Very Best Friend (I’m not so good at these “ONE thing” questions…)

39 - FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?
Very Best Friend’s house

40. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BEDROOM?
The walls are mint green; there’s a fuzzy purple carpet on the floor. Christmas lights are strewn around the top of the room and my ceiling light has a blue light bulb, which makes the whole room look like it’s bathed in moonlight. My bed has a purple, green and blue comforter on, which brings everything else together nicely.

41. FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES?
Oh, this is tough, especially considering that I don’t wear matching shoes, if I can avoid it…I would have to say my pink striped flipflop and my white polka dot flipflop.

42. CAKE OR ICE CREAM?
Ice cream, definitely.

43 - LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Laptop; it’s name is MooMoo

44 - FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
My friend D

45 - DO YOU SMOKE?
NO!

46 - SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
Definitely WITH. Let’s move on…

47 - WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
My big brown stuffed horse Chocolate still sleeps at the foot of my bed. Occasionally Grumpy the Cat will sleep with me, too…

48 - DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
Depends on the folks. For me? Kind of….

49 - HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Never *phew*

50 - PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Depends on who’s cooking. If it’s Very Best Friend, I would totally choose French toast, because she makes the most awesome French toast EVER. Anyone else, pancakes. Chocolate chip, if possible.

51 - DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Yum!

52 - HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Deviled, hard boiled, in potato salad; NOT SCRAMBLED *gag*

53 - DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
No way


54 - LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Youth leader or Daddy….

55 - LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Daddy

56 - WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
“R U coming over today?”

57. EVER WISHED ON A STAR?
Plenty of times. A few of those wishes even came true.

58 - NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
3.. One’s hugemongous and blue and fuzzy, yay.

59 - WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
2nd favorite pair of jeans (with two lovely holes in the knees), black long sleeved shirt with gray stripes, pink tee, one white sock with stars on and one black sock with hotdogs on.

60 - PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
“It’s hard to be cool in a minivan” (Thank you, Go Fish!)

61 - WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?
EW EW EW. I HATE jelly in every way shape and form. Blegh.

62 - CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
Erm….theoretically, yes…

63 - CAN YOU SWIM?
Well, I haven’t drowned yet

64 - FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
Chocolate peanut butter, Rocky Road, Mint Choc. Chip, chocolate marshmallow

65 - DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
YES. I thank God for maps on a regular basis. Especially last night when I missed my exit and accidentally left the state. Ooops.

66 - TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I could totally be a paparazzi person if I wanted to be. I’m an excellent stalker-picture taker. *Bwahahaha*

67. HOW OFTEN DO YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH?
Heh. Brushing my teeth makes me unnaturally happy, so I do it quite often. At least twice a day, usually three and occasionally four. Yup, I’m a freak. I always forget to floss, though, if it’s any consolation….

68 - EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
Yes!

69 - WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Fall, definitely. I love jeans and t/sweatshirt weather. I love knowing winter’s around the corner and I love how fall is the start of things; school, extra-curriculars, holiday season, etc.

70 - LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
This afternoon, when sending a Hoops & Yoyo ecard

71 - WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
6:56am

72 - BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
The smell of snow, the tingly toes, the hats, the mismatched gloves and the fact that it’s not hot.

73 - LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
Never ever ever, YEAH!

74. SOMETHING THAT DRIVES YOU CRAZY:
Drivers who don’t turn their high beams off when opposing traffic approaches, forgetting something that I KNEW I wouldn’t forget (yeah, right) and people who don’t listen to me

75 - NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Peter Aristotle Finland

76 - DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
Totally, totally awesome.

77 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
Taking down Christmas decorations (boo!), babysitting, watching snow fall down, teaching Sunday School, practicing my guitar, wrapping birthday presents, possibly even baking cookies if I have time…

78 - BIRTHDAY
Feb 5th.

79 - WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
Dictator of the World would be nice. I'd be a kind Dictator, of course, not a ruthless one; but it would be nice to be in control of everything :)

80. LAST CONVERSATION YOU HAD WAS ABOUT:
Whether or not I should drive 30 minutes through the blizzard to babysit. The end decision was a disappointing but logical “No”. Boo.

81. MOST OVERUSED WORD IN YOUR VOCABULARY?
“Yay”, “commandeer”, “random” or “YAHOO!”

82. LAST BOARD GAME YOU PLAYED?
Chess. Lil Bro creamed me. Ugh. When did he get so darn GOOD at that game?!

83. - WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
My new beautiful necklace. My guardian angel bracelet (most treasured possession in the world)

84. - DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
Very Best Friend in the Whole Entire Galaxy & family. Youth leader & family. D & family. *sigh*

85 - ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
Yes, I’m on my beloved MooMoo

86. - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Plenty of times. Being born, visiting people, rollerblade incident/head injury, x-rays… I even fainted in a hospital once. THAT was exciting.

87 - ARE YOU SMILING?:
Oh yeah. I’m planning my rise to power and eternal reign as Dictator. What’s not to smile about?

88. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
Absolutely!

89 - DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
Very Best Friend & family. D & family. EL & family.

90 - IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Very Best Friend’s house

91. - ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
Yes! Upstairs in the back bedroom. My room. Yay.

92 - ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
Yes and no. I’m in college, too; nyeh, nyeh, nyeh nyeh nyeh!

93 - DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
Not anymore.

94 - WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
Addison Rose, Leah Marie, Miah Grace

95 - WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
Brown with red flowers or periwinkle and purple

96 - DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
Well, technically, yeah, But I’ll probably take classes all summer. So really, school NEVER ENDS.

97 - DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
Last month? In December? Uh, no…not really…but I did have an awesome 3-day sleepover….!

98 - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
Nope. Have you ever heard of the Titanic?

99 - DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
No. I wanted one for the longest time, though...

100 - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
Vacuum and feed the cat. (Edit: I meant vacuum the floors, THEN feed the cat. Not vacuum the cat and feed the cat. Just wanted to be sure we're clear.)

One Little Word

Megan from the amazing Bloom Blog published a really neat post earlier this week. She talked about a project, of sorts, that she's taking part in this year called One Little Word, and I love it! I'm going to participate, too.

I don't make New Year's Resolutions, because I think it's a totally meaningless tradition that most people just do because everyone else is doing it and they feel like they should, too (much like matching socks. These aforementioned reasons are precisely why I DON'T wear matching socks. Or shoes. Or gloves. You get the idea.). I mean, seriously? So many New Year's resolutions are very vague promises that people make and then forget about or give up on by the end of January. If you ask me, a resolution means nothing if it's just made as part of a tradition. There needs to be a true committment; an underlying passion for it to be successful. But that's an entirely different rant. :)

And yet, don't get me wrong; I certainly believe that there's always room for improvement in life! (Especially my life!) And I really like the idea of One Little Word: choosing one word to define you and the year 2009. I toyed around with a whole bunch of ideas before finally settling on one. (Did you all take notice of that? I, the Indecisive One, made a decision. YEAH! There should be thunderous applause coming from the audience right now!)

*drumroll*

My One Little Word of 2009 is genuine. My goal for this year is going to be to live my life as genuinely as possible. I think this word has particular relevance to my life lately because I've really be struggling with being genuine on so many different levels.

According to my dictionary, genuine has three definitions, and all three apply to my life and my goals right now.

1. authentic; real
I have a major tendency to try to please people, and a direct result of that is that I often try to act in a certain way to measure up to their expectations. My best friend recently confronted me about this and we talked about how, not only is the "acting" not necessary, but it's not true. It's not real. It's not genuine. Our discussion really made me aware of the many ways that I'm not being "real" in so many aspects of my life and I am determined to change that!

2. free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere
Sincerity has been a big focus of mine over the last few months, and I want to continue to make it an important part of life in 2009, too. I really believe that it's important to be honest with people and tell them how you feel. The two people in the world that I most enjoy talking to and being around are the two who I know will be brutally honest with me, no matter what. Whether this means confronting a friend about a touchy issue, asking how someone's day is going or saying "I love you", it all means nothing unless the intention is truly sincere. It drives me crazy when people ask me "How are you?" but clearly don't care about my answer!

3. descended from the original; pure in breed
When I read this, the first thing I thought of was one of my favorite passages from I John.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
--1 John 3:1-2

I love this passage because it reminds me that I AM a child of God; that I was created by Him for a specific purpose. My life has meaning and value and even when I can't see what He's got planned for me, I can trust that He is leading my life and knows what's in store. Especially in this crazy year, when I'll be facing so many changes and new situations, these are thoughts I need to keep in the front of my mind. Part of being genuine, of being pure is remembering WHOSE I am. When I do that, all my doubts about self-worth and worries about the future disappear.


I've taken Megan's suggestion and posted pink post-it notes all over the place (my mirror, in the bathroom, on my computer, on the fridge, on the radio in the car, on the cat) to remind myself of this new goal. It's going to take a lot of work and a lot of God's help for me to truly implement this in my life this year, but hey, I'm determined!

I strongly encourage you guys to take on this challenge too; I'm quite curious to hear what your One Little Words are!

10 Most Recent Music Downloads

Just in case anyone's curious. It's quite an amusing mix of genres, really....

Cemetaries of London -- Coldplay
Rainy Day -- Coldplay
Cinderella -- Steven Curtis Chapman [this song makes me cry every single time I hear it]
Fingerprints of God -- Steven Curtis Chapman
One Step at a Time -- Jordin Sparks
Walking in Memphis -- Lonestar
Come Unto Me -- Nicole C. Mullen
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) -- The Proclaimers
Angel -- Aerosmith
It's Hard to be Cool in a Minvan -- Go Fish

It's Always the Monkeys

Hee hee...for those of you to whom that title means anything, I love ya! Oh, the memories..... :)

Alright, so maybe it wasn't entirely the monkeys. My long, unexplained absense was partially my fault...Whew! Sorry, guys, I've really been intending to post a lot over the last few weeks, I really have! Pinky promise! But, as I'm sure you all can relate to, Christmas "break" was anything but. I was gone more than I was home (not that I'm complaining; GOOD TIMES, man!) and the time to write out posts just didn't exist! Anyway, I do promise that posts are on the way.

Sit tight.







(Alright, I'll probably regret asking this, but does anyone know where the term "sit tight" came from? What the heck is that supposed to mean, anyway?!)

The Greatest Christmas Present Ever

Wow! As you have probably already guessed from my ever-so-creative title, this year I was blessed with the world's most incredibly awesome, sweet, touching, loving, amazing Christmas present EVER (topped only by the Most Amazing Birthday Present Ever, which was the guardian angel bracelet Very Best Friend in the Whole Entire Galaxy gave me back on the birthday of 2007).

Like all great, presents, it was a total and complete surprise. Months ago, I was having a conversation with one of the teachers at my preschool about my personal collection of library books. Now, let me just insert that every teacher I've ever met has their own personal stash of kids' books; books that are their own favorites, books to supplement the typical classroom library with or books that are special to them in some other way. And, at the time, my personal picture book library included a whopping 2 books.

Well, time went by and I totally forgot about this conversation. Unbeknownst to me, however, this teacher sent out a letter to the 50+ families at the preschool, asking that, this Christmas, they give me a copy of their child's favorite picture book.

I had positively no clue this was going on, but for over a month the teachers, parents and kids sneaked around, whispering to each other and picking out books and hiding them all throughout the school. Possibly the most amazing part of this whole event was that every single child kept it a secret!!

Then, on the day of our Christmas parties, when the fellowship hall was packed, the teachers presented me with a GIANT SACK full of picture books, as well as a bundle of gift cards to Barnes & Noble to buy even MORE books! I was totally, totally blown away (there were tears and shrieks!) and, quite honestly, still am when I think about it!

Theses amazing families and teachers were so very generous, and I received a total of 42 incredible books. Many of them have sweet, beautiful messages written on the insides and even the handprints and signatures of the children who picked them out.

God never ceases to amaze me. It's funny, because just when I start to question if teaching is really my purpose in life; if this is really what He's calling me to do, He goes and answers my unasked questions in a BIG way. I mean, if I was looking for affirmation that teaching is my call, I certainly got it!!

Happy-making events of the day:

-- Finished Christmas shopping, woo hoo! Now all I have left is wrapping & baking, and I've still got an entire DAY! That's PLENTY of time! YEAH!

-- Wawa gift cards + mocha cappucinos. Mmm. Caffiene levels = high.

-- Talked to Very Best Friend in the Galaxy on the phone, even if for a few moments

-- Free coffee samples at the bookstore. Mmmm. Caffiene levels = very high.

-- STRAIGHT A's FOR THE WHOLE FIRST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE!!! OH YEAH, BABY!

-- Spontaneous stop at Sheetz for a Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Frozen Mocha. Mmmmm...Caffeine levels = super freakishly high.

-- The high speed internet!! It works! After years of waiting! Huzzah! Farewell, blasted dial-up, you old fiend!!

-- SOY LECITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *celebration*

-- Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!! WOO HOO!


Next up: Remind me to tell you about my very awesome early Christmas present I was blessed with last week.

The Caf

Alright, so I'm currently sitting here in the community college cafeteria. Now, for a gal like me who's been homeschooled all her life, meals consisted of opening the fridge, finding something edible, cooking it, and eating in the dining room, kitchen, living room, patio...you get the idea. The whole cafeteria concept was a totally new and exciting experience for me this year!! I'm only on campus twice a week, so the excitement really hasn't even completely worn off yet. I mean, yeah, the food's not always that great...but the whole experience in general? Pretty darn exciting!

It's just so interesting. Two booths in front of me are two girls who have discussed everything from transfer applications that are due in March to books that focus on the downfall of society to why girls are smarter than guys to how one of them celebrates Hanukkah. Next to me, two adults are griping about the amount of people who don't bother to recycle. Above me, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" flows out of the hidden speakers, and on the other side of the half-wall on my right, a group of guys is attempting to sing along.

I love the hustle and bustle and the many eavesdropping opportunities that abound! Who knew meals could be a social activity, too?!

What did I eat? Well, in celebration of the fact that this is my last week of Fall semester classes, I skipped the salad and the snacks I packed and went all out. I got all my favorites:

Pizza (I LOVE the pizza here. It's homemade and it's like no other!)
Chocolate milk
Potato cheese soup + crackers
Doritos (saved these for later, though; I'll pack them in my lunch tomorrow to eat at preschool)
Chocolate pudding (with whipped cream!)

Mmmmmmmmm!

Expectations are strange, strange things...

So...the persuasive speech I posted about a few weeks ago? I just finished giving it. I ended up deciding on the topic, "Save the Spiders!", and talked about how spiders are very beneficial to society and shouldn't be killed, but rather respected.

It's funny -- last speech I gave for this class was an informative one about the history & future of the toothbrush. I LOVED that speech and had a great time doing it. I got a 99 on it -- the prof deducted a point because she said I didn't look at my notes enough (I knew the material too well) and I was "too energetic -- you sounded like a used car commerical". (Hello? I'm freakishly energetic. All the time. She should know that by now; I even get excited when she hands out homework, for pity's sake!)

Anyway, I took her advice about streamlining info, not being so darn energetic and not sounding so memorized for this speech. Personally, I think it stunk; I lost my place a few times looking at my notes and I was defintitely WAY less excited than last time. However, when I talked to her after class, she said it was actually much better than last time, because I relied on my notes instead of my knowledge and wasn't too enthusiastic. WHAT?!?!

Expectations are strange things, eh? I had high expecations of myself for this speech, and in my mind, I didn't come close to meeting them. And yet, apparently, by NOT meeting mine, I managed to meet HERS. So now that I've sacrificed my own goals in an attempt to live up to hers, I'll get a good grade.

AND, I had to wear matching socks today (knee-high socks with a skirt. I ROCK that look, by the way) because she said mismatched made it seem like I wasn't taking the assignment seriously. You would not believe how much I wrestled with this when getting dressed this morning. Sure, matching socks never killed anyone, but it was a matter of changing who I am to meet someone else's expectations. Conformity. Ick. And in the end? I wore matching socks for the first time in about 3 years, and I'd bet you my grade improved because of it. So there you have it -- College is teaching me to conform and sacrifice my personal beliefs.

So you know, college is strange, too, come to think of it....

If only I could write like this...

*happy sigh*
I really, really, really like this poem. Really.



Grace
Ralph Waldo Emerson

How much, preventing God! how much I owe
To the defenses thou hast round me set:
Example, custom, fear, occasional slow,
These scorned bondmen were my parapet.
I dare not peep over this parapet
To gauge with glance the roaring gulf beelow,
The depths of sin to which I had descended,
Had not these me against myself defended.

One Life to Love

So...one lesson I've been learning a lot lately is that life is short. As you know, I am workaholic and a perfectionist to boot -- it's SO easy for me to get consumed by making sure every little detail is not only perfect but above and beyond expectations. This translates into doing intense amounts of extra credit homework, doing double assignments, studying and restudying obsessively...you get the idea. And while that's all well and fine, I'm finally starting to learn that there's more to life than striving for perfection.

When I get to Heaven, and Jesus asks me what I've done to further His kingdom, do I really want to be saying, "Well...um...well I DID get all 100's while I was in school! Perfect A's, every single year! And check out all the extra credit points I racked up!" Somehow...I don't He'll be that impressed.

My goal this year has been to shift my focus to the things that really matter in life. Don't worry -- I'm not saying school isn't important. I know that God wants me to work hard and get an education, because He's going to use that to His glory in whatever situations He places me in later on. I'm going to need that. (So even when Algebra seems pointless, I remind myself that somehow, this WILL glorify God, in the end...!). What I AM saying, though, is that priorities are important. I'm learning that sometimes, you have to skip a class to go vist your amazing youth leader Amy, who needs a lift. You might need to skip the extra credit homework assignment because your friend has just called you, sobbing. You might need to give up studying that chapter for the 13th time because your brother's club needs extra volunteers at a bake sale. Life is about loving; above all, we are to glorify God and spread His Word and His Love to all whose lives we can touch.

I'm learning that being so wrapped up in my own goals is selfish. I'm learning that I don't need to worry about the "what ifs" because if I'm following God's will, I know it's all gonna be OK. I'm learning that this is our one chance to spread the joy and life is too short to squander it on things that won't matter.

Will my SAT scores matter 10 years from now? Heck no. Will the fact that I was there to help my best friend out when she needed me matter? Oh, yeah. You bet it will!

When I get to Heaven, will God give a hoot about all the study hours I put in? Maybe. Maybe not. Will He be more concerned with the time I spent serving others, loving others and leading others to Him? Oh yeah, baby.

This song has been influencing my thoughts a lot lately, too.